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In a world that embraces individuality yet inclusiveness, we are often encouraged to accept everyone just as they are. However, when it comes to being an introvert, I believe they make others uncomfortable.
As a result, extroverts attempt to change them into a different version of themselves. It is a version that champions a mindset of jumping in headfirst with the crowd and being more outgoing and outspoken than they are wired to be.
Since most people mean well, we have written this article to help you identify any introverts you may have in your family, or on the job, and how to best understand and interact with them in social situations.
What is an Introvert?
Introverts are people who value alone time. It is not that they dislike people; they usually find solace and peace in being to themselves.
According to experts, there are four types of introverted personalities: thinking, anxious, social, and restrained. Each type centers on the fact that introverts get their strength from within and not externally.
As an introvert myself, I have heard all the annoying assumptions about being introverted, from being considered rude and lacking emotion to being non-sociable.
Others say we are shy, have an inflated sense of self-importance, lack emotion, or need to open up more.
You will find that introverts have a small circle of friends that they associate with. Also, they don't need to be the center of attention, nor do they care to be.
When talking with an introvert, you will find that they aren't comfortable with making small talk but thrive in profound, meaningful conversations.
And in a crowded setting, they will gravitate to one person or a small group to spend their time with.
Many introverts like to withdraw from others after prolonged social interactions. For them, time alone after being in a group setting is the ultimate “staycation.” It relaxes, recharges, and refreshes them mentally and emotionally.
When they have reached their limits, you will see them ease their way to the exit after meetings or subtly attempt to end an unplanned conversation. Especially if they secretly don't like you.
Other characteristics of an introvert include:
How Introverts Differ From Extroverts
Introverts look inward for feelings of stimulation, while extroverts are often stimulated by external sources.
Not that it's cut and dried because anyone can exhibit both characteristics. However, most of us will lean more toward one personality type than the other.
According to statistics, 60-75% of people worldwide are considered extroverts. And the two personality types are vastly different.
For starters, introverts are considered shy and reserved when it comes to social settings. At the same time, extroverts are very friendly and outgoing.
When forming ideas and processing information, introverts have an inner focus they use to think things through.Meanwhile, extroverts discuss issues out loud and come to conclusions better with discussion.
Other differences between these personality types include:
How they spend their time:
When around people they do not know:
Preferred method of communication:
Ideal work environment:
When in a group:
With the minority of us being introverts, it is understandable how we can be misunderstood. However, it gets annoying when others try to change us into a different version of ourselves to make us more socially acceptable.
We are who we are, we like what we like, and we’re usually the ones having to bend to fit an extroverted society.
Since the pandemic, introverts have been able to breathe easier as there has been an increase in fast food and grocery pickups and delivery services, online shopping, and work-from-home job opportunities.
But we are still not exempt from the judgment of others.
Here are some comments introverts hate.
11 Annoying Comments That Most Introverts HATE
1. Why are you so quiet?
This comment annoys introverts because this demands them to be someone they are not. Again, they hear conversation and information and process it internally before submitting an answer.
It also annoys introverts because they are built for one-on-one communication or, at the most, small groups. If a crowd is around. You better believe an introvert will take the silent approach.
2. What’s wrong?
You may get a smile or a nod from an introvert. However, you won't likely get an entire conversation in mixed company like you would if it were just the two of you.
Introverts aren’t striving to be the center of attention but are very comfortable with fading away in the background.
This makes some of their extrovert friends and family members uncomfortable, and rather than assessing the situation carefully, they assume something is wrong.
As I mentioned earlier, I am introverted, and this has happened to me many times. I am talkative when comfortable around someone; we can chat for hours.
However, when you introduce new faces into the conversation, I withdraw and would rather listen than have all eyes on me.
My friends tried asking me questions directly to get me into the conversation, and no matter how I tried to explain my feelings to them as an introvert, they only assumed that something was wrong with me. Yes, it isn't very pleasant and annoys me a lot.
3. You’re just shy? I can fix that.
Introverts can be shy but aren't looking to change that or be pressured to become someone they are not.
Additionally, introverts aren't looking for a savior or superhero to rescue them from the shy pits of darkness and despair. No introvert cries, “HELP ME! I'm shy and can't get free! I want to talk a lot and have everyone hanging on my every word!”
To imply that an introvert needs fixing means that they are broken. And that’s simply a lack of understanding from anyone who would think that.
4. You should come; it will be so much fun.
Fun to an introvert may not meet the same criteria of fun that you have. They would rather be at home, spending a quiet evening alone or with a spouse, reading a good book, or free from the distractions of others.
It's not to say that the party, jazz club or activities you invite them to aren't fun. But to an introvert, fun goes out the window the minute you ask them to leave the sanctity of their personal space.
5. Are you ok? You seem depressed.
An introvert is an introspective person. So, while you are hanging out with your group of friends, discussing everything under the sun, your introverted friend is processing what you said.
Where you openly expressed your thoughts for the whole group. Your friend is pondering the conversation within. Which may cause them to appear in deep thought. But not depressed.
When someone truly gets to know an introvert, they ask questions like, “What's on your mind?” or “What's your opinion?” when the two of you are away from others and in their comfort zones.
6. I thought I would call you; it's so much easier than texting or emailing.
The first thing an introvert thinks is, “Oh No!” when they receive this text from you.
Then, they begin questioning within themselves how they could have texted you in a way where you could have gained a complete understanding of the subject at hand.
Introverts fully embrace the 21st-century use of the phone for texting, browsing the internet, and using apps. They will use online technical support and speak to AI auto responders before calling and asking to speak with an operator.
Their use of a phone in its traditional form is a last resort. So, it annoys them when someone wants to call about something in a way that makes them feel comfortable.
Yet at the risk of discomforting the introvert who would rather discuss the matters through text or email.
7. I just thought I would stop by since I was in the neighborhood.
You heard it here first; this may be a sure way to get your feelings hurt. I have known people to stop by the homes of their introverted friends and family members unannounced and were upset that the person did not answer.
After constantly knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell several times, they could see children through the window, playing inside the house, the dogs barking, or the television on.
Still, no one answered the door.
It is best to call or text an introvert ahead of time to give them time to mentally prepare for your visit. Their home is their sanctuary and peace away from the outside world. Coming over unannounced brings unexpected chaos. Even if you mean well.
8. So, you're too good to talk to us, huh?
This saying annoys introverts because it couldn't be farther from the truth. Introverts can be very quiet and reflective, usually judging themselves more harshly than they would others.
Usually, because they know how it feels to be misunderstood, they don't wish to inflict that pain upon others.
9. You need to come out of your shell.
Introverts are annoyed by this because, like a turtle, their shell protects them. You would never ask a turtle to come out of its shell because that is who they are. So, you may want to avoid doing this with your introverted friend and family member.
For most of your silent friends, they will never change. Sadly, their behavior is often misdiagnosed as a self-esteem issue. When in fact, they are pretty comfortable with who they are.
10. So, what’s new with you? (Making small talk)
Introverts enjoy thoughtful conversations and view small talk as a waste of time. Small talk requires quick answers that aren't as well thought out or deeply meaningful.
My old coworker Robert was this way. When out with a group, he would avoid conversations where people made small talk.
He could often be found talking to one or two people from the job about deeply personal matters, plans for the future, or offering advice.
It was fulfilling to him and gave him life, where small talk tended to be tedious and draining.
11. You need to get out more.
Introverts get highly annoyed when others try to get them out of the house. Working in public all day for the introvert drains them like a cell phone battery.
By the time most get home from work, that battery light has gone from green (decent power level) to red (battery needs to be charged because the power is low).
Being home for the evening recharges an introvert. It refreshes their mind, body, and spirit.
A friend and fellow introvert told me that others make fun of her “lack of sun” because of her pale skin tone.
Stating she needs to get out more. But she references an article that says, according to experts, fair-skinned individuals only need 10 minutes a day of midday sunlight to get the appropriate amount of vitamin D daily.
So, she argues that she doesn't need to get out more. My friend jokes that for introverts like me with darker skin tones, there's always Vitamin D3 if we choose to stay in.
Final Thoughts on Comments That Introverts Hate
Hopefully, as you read this article, you had some introverts come to mind that you interact with regularly. Maybe you have struggled to relate to them or have had issues trying to “figure them out.” But now you have realized that they are the way they are.
Introverts don't fit the societal narrative of what a healthy, functional, and sociable human ought to be. So, we ask that you consider embracing them in their differences and showing them grace.
They are the minorities, bending to the will of an extroverted society.
Please don't try to change them to make yourself feel more comfortable around them. And also, try to be mindful of the thing that you say.
They may be not only frustrating but also hurtful. Let them have their peace and enjoy what makes them really unique people.
Lastly, if you are an introvert, send a link to this article to a friend or family member who needs to read it. Hopefully, they will better understand what makes you, YOU.
And if you're looking for more articles about introverts, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- Empaths VS Introverts: 7 Basic Differences
- 15 Quick Ways to Make an Introvert Miss You
- 11 Introvert Networking Tips That Won’t Make You Feel Exhausted
Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick.
