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I’m an introvert, and if you don’t know what to look for, you’ll never know that I don’t like you. Okay, you probably won’t know I like you either, since I hide my feelings well and tend not to express myself aloud.
Introverts are masters of “subtle,” and they hide the signs an introvert doesn’t like you, but this can really make reading us very complicated.
Being able to tell if someone likes you or doesn’t like you is often important to functioning in the wider world. So how do you accomplish this with an introvert? There are signs that we use to show our likes and dislikes, and if you know what to look for, you’ll be on solid ground.
It may seem like the best kept secret, but I’ve got you covered with all the signs that an introvert (like me) doesn’t like you.
What Is an Introvert?
Growing up, I realized that people tended to think a shy person is an introvert, and while introverts can be shy, this is not the qualifying characteristic of an introvert. An introvert is someone who doesn’t thrive when surrounded by people and activities. When you feel like you need alone time and quiet to recharge, you are an introvert.
Introverts prefer to keep to a smaller group of people (or fly solo), and they frequently need time on their own to reload their mental and emotional batteries. Of course, introversion and extroversion are two sides of a sliding scale, so you may be more or less introverted (depending on the situation), which will affect how you behave and what you need as an introvert (or extrovert).
Common Characteristics of an Introvert
Introverts are quiet and often seem withdrawn, and they may also avoid attending public meetings or social events as they easily feel overwhelmed by these. Some other characteristics that introverts share include:
Focus on Their Inner World
An introvert prefers to reflect and self-engage instead of chatting with others or speaking up in public.
Need Time to Make a Decision
Because of all that thinking, introverts also tend to take a long time to make a decision. But once they’ve made up their mind, they tend to stick to that gut feeling.
Prefer Being Alone to Being in Company
If an introvert likes you, they will spend time with you (when they don’t need to recharge their batteries), but they can as easily decide not to hang out with you as they prefer their own company.
Far from snobbery, this is just because an introvert gets tired of conversations with people (though they have loads of internal monologues).
Will Text and Not Call
A characteristic of most introverts is that they’d rather text you than call, and they definitely won’t send you voice notes either. After all, what can a conversation say that a well-thought text message can’t? (Right?)
They Are Problem Solvers
If you do manage to befriend an introvert, you’re lucky as they are the best problem solvers. Introverts are always thinking of how to solve problems and plan for eventualities.
Many of the greatest thinkers of the modern age were introverted, such as Gandhi, Theodore Roosevelt, and even some living ones, like Barack Obama.
Different Types of Introverts
Just as there are different levels of introversion, there are also different types of introverted people.
Perhaps you are one of these types or you are trying to figure out an introvert (who you don’t know if they like you or not), in which case, knowing their introversion type may help.
Social Introverts
A social introvert is someone who prefers socializing in small groups. They feel uncomfortable in larger groups and social settings. If you feel someone is being standoffish with you, consider whether they are socially introverted, in which case, they may feel uncomfortable in a social setting and may act aloof or annoyed.
The same introvert may thrive in a more personalized setting where they are surrounded by a few good friends, and they can then appear much more friendly and open.
Anxious Introverts
An anxious introvert is not only more reclusive, but they are also prone to being shy and feeling uncomfortable when around people (even ones they know well).
An anxious introvert may come across as being rude or quick tempered, or they may seem disinterested. However, their behavior may be directed by their anxious nature.
Thinking Introverts
A thinking introvert is someone who spends a lot of time thinking about life and situations, and most of their time is spent daydreaming or planning eventualities that may not happen.
Inhibited Introverts
While most introverts are somewhat inhibited, an inhibited or restrained introvert is someone who plans every step forward, never making a move without considering all aspects of a decision.
Inhibited introverts are cautious and deliberate in their words and deeds. They have a quiet strength that they derive from their ability to think so carefully.
13 Signs an Introvert Doesn’t Like You
Now you know a bit more about introverts and their peculiar behavior, it’s time to consider just how you will find out if an introvert doesn’t like you.
After all, introverts aren’t exactly chatty, so knowing what to watch out for can help you stay on an introvert’s good side while avoiding their subtle dislike.
1. They’d Rather Go It Alone
If an introvert chooses to sit alone while you’re the only other person in the room, it’s not a sign of shyness. Instead, they have chosen not to sit with you, which indicates they don’t like you (aside from being uncomfortable around other people) or something you did.
If an introvert is stuck with you in a space where they can’t get away (such as an elevator), they will become clearly uncomfortable and distressed if they really don’t like you.
2. Yes and No, Nothing Else
Try having a conversation with an introvert who doesn’t like you—you’re likely to only get single word answers such as “yes” or “no.” If they really don’t like you, they may even grunt instead of answering or pretend to be very busy on their phones and not hear you speak to them.
Energy is very important to an introvert, and if they don’t like you, they won’t waste any energy speaking to you.
3. They Don’t Try to Know You
It’s natural to be curious about someone when you meet for the first time. If the introvert simply seems disinterested and doesn’t make any effort to know you, it indicates they don’t like you or feel very uncomfortable around you.
When an introvert doesn’t like you, one of the signs is that they don’t show any interest in you. They don’t ask about your life or what you are going through at work. An introvert that feels ambivalent toward you or one who is very happy with you will make some effort at social niceties.
4. You Get the Silent Treatment
Okay, so the silent treatment isn’t exactly something new. Most introverts are quiet around people (even people they know and trust). However, an introvert who’s decided they don’t like you can really give you the verbal cold shoulder.
5. Their Body Language Shouts “No!”
We all have an unspoken language, namely your body language. Introverts are especially sensitive to their body language and their own language skills.
If an introvert suddenly sits with their legs facing away from you or they turn their shoulders away from you instead of speaking to you and making eye contact, they don’t like you.
Not all forms of body language indicate exactly what an introvert feels. While an introvert may like you, they could end up saying nothing and regularly move away from you when you are at a social gathering.
You may interpret this as them using non-verbal skills to give you the finger, but it could also be an indication that they are shy and need more time to adjust to your presence.
6. Conversations Stop
As with most people, if someone you don’t like joins the conversation, you are likely to stop talking. You may also lift your eyes away and look at something pleasant instead.
These are all signs that the introvert doesn’t like company and would rather look at the sky than exchange pleasantries.
7. They Don’t Share Information
An introvert who doesn’t like you will keep their private life even more quiet than usual.
They won’t share their hobbies or interests as they don’t want you to know about them. An introvert who doesn’t like you will black you out completely.
8. “Nothing’s Wrong”
Ever asked someone whom you think may have an issue with you whether there’s anything wrong? Their usual default answer is to say that nothing is wrong.
Of course, your gut is telling you something is off, and you will continue with the eerie feeling that you’ve done something wrong, without knowing just what that may be.
9. They Are Anxious When You’re Around
Someone who is introverted and doesn’t like you may show this by becoming anxious when you’re present or even get up and leave when you join a group. You will wonder what you’ve done wrong, as they seem to have a grudge against you.
10. No Answer
When an introvert doesn’t like you, they are very likely to avoid answering your calls or text messages. They will pretend you aren’t there and don’t exist. Communicating with you takes energy, and an introvert won’t waste their energy on someone they don’t like.
11. The Refusal of Friendship
Friends help each other, and if an introvert who needs help chooses to rather suffer alone, they are sending a clear message that they don’t consider you a friend or companion. They’d rather suffer than ask you to help, and they may consider you the reason they can’t rely on you.
If you do offer to help and they accept, you’d also notice they will give you the cold shoulder and actually appear offended.
12. “You Annoy Them”
Introverts rarely show emotions, but they do sometimes become annoyed, and it shows. If the person you’re convinced doesn’t like you is annoyed whenever you’re around (and not so much when you’re not), it’s a pretty good bet they don’t like you.
Because introverts are deep thinkers, they have considered the situation that caused them to not like you, and their nimble minds will quickly begin nit-picking at little things or small character flaws about you that annoy them.
13. You Don’t Get Asked to Spend Time with Them
While introverts prefer alone time and spending time with their inner thoughts, they do sometimes want human company.
If an introvert never asks you to spend time with them (and they used to), it’s an indication they have changed their mind about you and no longer like you.
How Do You Convince an Introvert to Like You Again?
It is possible to convince an introvert to like you if they suddenly dislike you, but it’s an uphill battle and will take a lot of work. For starters, you will have to identify what it is that made them not like you in the first place.
Was there a misunderstanding? Perhaps you disappointed them or hurt them? Is there a way to make amends? Give the situation some deep thought.
When you have all the information, it’s time to decide what to do about the situation. Depending on the severity of your transgression, it may be possible to have an open and honest conversation with the introvert and convince them that you know what you did and you are truly sorry.
You can then ask them to help you find a way to make amends. It’s important to include them in your thinking process so they feel considered and valued. Doing something special for them to show you’ve really considered them can also go a long way to helping them trust and like you again.
Final Thoughts on Signs an Introvert Doesn’t Like You
Introverts don’t usually wear their hearts on their sleeves, and while they may not be very verbally expressive of their emotions, they have deep feelings and think hard about these.
When you do something to annoy or disappoint an introvert, it may not always show, but if you know the signs an introvert doesn’t like you, it is possible to address the problem and rebuild trust.
For more information on introverts vs extroverts, read our article on why an introvert can’t become an extrovert and how to accept introversion.
Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick.
