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Congratulations! You’ve done something remarkable – you’ve managed to get an introvert to enter a relationship with you.
Let’s face it, most introverts aren’t eager to jump feet-first into relationships. It’s not their natural habitat, unless they have connected with another introvert, who manages to tick their relationship boxes.
But, as it inevitably happens, you’ve now had a falling out, and you want to know how to make an introvert miss you. Perhaps you want to win them back, or you just can’t make it without them, but you want to discover the ways to make an introvert miss you.
It’s not easy. Introverts are totally self-sufficient, and they don’t need you with the same dependency as an extroverted partner may. In their quiet inner world, you are a visitor, and if you leave, it’s not a guarantee you will be missed.
So how do you go about making your introverted partner miss you? Let’s find out.
What Is Introversion?
Most people tend to think of someone with introversion as being shy. Nothing could be further from the truth. An introvert is someone who prefers the world of their own thoughts, intellectual pursuits, and transcendent thinking.
Yeah, introverts are quiet, but it’s not because they have nothing to say. Instead, it’s that they don’t find the tangible world to be the right place to share their thoughts and feelings.
Since they live in the mind, introverted people are highly comfortable in their own skin. It’s not shyness that keeps them quiet or makes them prefer their own company. With introversion, people tend to prefer mental activities to physical ones, and they value thoughtfulness.
Introversion Vs Extroversion
An extrovert is someone who lives “outside” of themselves. They adore being around people so they can socialize and share with others. Extroverts are more dependent on others to feel better about themselves.
Introversion and extroversion are two sides of the same coin. Both are aspects of a person’s psyche.
It’s also not a case of an either-or situation. You can have both introverted and extroverted personality traits, as you function on the sliding scale of being introverted and being extroverted.
Some days an introvert may be extremely introverted, while they may be more sociable the next (depending on where they are on the introversion and extroversion scales).
Common Characteristics of Introversion
To know whether your partner is an introvert, there are a few common characteristics that you can look out for. This will help you understand your introverted partner better, which will also help you make your partner miss you more.
Here are the most common introversion characteristics:
Misconceptions of Introversion
Of course, there are a few misconceptions about introverts, and people easily believe the worst.
So here are a few things NOT to believe about your introvert partner:
Since many people don’t get it that an introvert doesn’t like having company at all hours of the day, they may believe an introvert to be rude if they don’t invite them over for coffee or want to socialize after work.
When exhausted, an introvert retreats into their inner mental sanctuary, and there’s only room for themselves in there, so you’re out in the cold until the introvert has recovered. They’re not being rude; they just need to self-care.
Introverts Are Always Shy
Not all introverts are shy, and some introverts may surprise you with how outgoing they can be if the situation suits them. When they have a topic, they are really passionate about, an introvert can really talk your ears off.
But when an introvert becomes quiet, it’s also not a sign of shyness. Instead, it could be that the introvert has already begun self-caring, turning inward to recharge, and they disconnect from the world around them until they feel rested.
All Leaders Can’t Be Introverted
Introverts make excellent leaders and public speakers. They are so caring and self-aware that they easily pick up on nuances in meetings and interactions that other people may miss. Some famous introverted leaders and public speakers include Barack Obama, Simon Sinek, and Brené Brown.
Why It’s Hard to Read Your Introvert Partner
If you’re not entirely on the same mental wavelength as your introverted partner, you can run into some communication challenges, including how to read your introvert. One minute you’re both chatting and having fun, when suddenly, they withdraw, become quiet, and turn away.
Did you do something wrong? Possibly, but more likely, you’ve missed the signs that your partner is tired and needs to recover their introverted energy.
Since introverts take so long to decide (being all cerebral most of the time), they may come across as being indecisive, which can make you believe your partner isn’t interested in you and has decided to move on.
Miscommunication is easy with an introvert as they may not be paying attention to you all the time when they are in their own fantasy world or daydreaming how to solve a problem.
Introverts also tend to have less expressive body language, and if you’re not paying attention, you may miss out on signs of how they feel and what they’re thinking.
Your introvert partner may have mastered the art of being subtle, and you need to up your game in reading them, or you’ll never get them to miss you when you’re not around.
15 Quick Ways How to Make an Introvert Miss You
Whether your introverted partner isn’t committing, has moved on, or you’re away, you may want to make them miss you so they realize just how much you love them and they love you.
Here are a few great ways to do just that.
1. Text; Don’t Call or Video Chat
If you want your introverted partner to miss you, the best way to chase them away entirely is to keep calling or texting them. Usually, an introvert becomes quiet when they need rest, not when they want to leave you.
But, like a bear that hibernates during winter, applying pressure to the introvert to try and “claim” them back is only likely to anger the bear and get your head bitten off.
A great way to regain love with your introverted partner is to send an endearing text message once a day to remind them of everything they miss with you.
2. Don’t Rush Them into Making a Quick Decision
When your introverted romantic partner has suddenly distanced themselves, you try to offer them ways to bring you two back together again: holidays away, counseling, second chances, and more. But these choices are too divergent to help your introverted partner choose an option. The overwhelming choices are likely to drive your partner away.
Instead, wait for your introverted partner to come to you. Be patient, breathe, and let their introverted side relax and become curious about you again. Introverts love an air of mystery. Let them discover the secret themselves.
3. Respect That They Need to Recharge and Self-Care
If you can see your introverted partner start to back away, surprise them by suggesting they take some time to rest and self-care, without expecting that they let you come with or involve you.
The best gift you can give your introverted partner is to encourage them to take time to look after themselves, and then give them the space they need to do that.
4. Don’t Be Clingy and Needy
The morning after a fight with your introvert partner, the best way to apologize and make them miss you is to engage in a quiet and thoughtful act such as placing a cup of tea and a favorite book of poetry next to their bed and then leaving them alone for the morning.
Clingy and needy behavior are sure to scare off introverts, so don’t do it. Instead, let each introvert carve out their own comfort zone, which will make them appreciate your gifts so much more.
5. Avoid Manipulating Them
Introverts are incredibly intelligent, and if you are trying to manipulate them into doing something, you will find them backing off. Instead, be very honest about your intentions. Trying to hide why you are hanging around an introvert will only make them distrust you and clam shut.
To make your introvert love interest miss you, create a stillness when you are around them, because it’s the spaces in between conversations that an introvert misses most.
6. Make Them Feel Comfortable to Be Around You
We all want to feel seen, heard, gotten, and felt. Your introverted partner will really appreciate it if you can be their no-pressure zone. When you enable them to feel comfortable without putting pressure or trying to pull their strings, you carve a space for yourself in their hearts.
Slow down the pace of the relationship to ensure your introverted partner is really comfortable near you. When they do walk away or spend time elsewhere, they will begin to miss your presence, the safe spots you made, and how you were just there to support them.
7. Take the Relationship Slow
Many introverted partners run for the hills because they are feeling pressured and rushed into the relationship. While taking it slow is a great idea, there’s more to this.
Consider every step in your relationship. Have you stepped away from the wheel so your partner can try to drive the relationship (aka take charge)?
8. Embrace the Silence
Shut up! Yeah, not being rude here, but introverts don’t like talking, so if you are naturally a very chatty person, breathe, close your mouth, and open your ears. To an introvert, silence is invaluable.
To an introvert, whispering or speaking softly when you speak to them can be the ultimate turn-on since you are meeting their need for peace and quiet, and you show how you understand them.
9. Be Supportive
Most of us have a support network, and we rely on these supports to help us thrive. An introvert doesn’t always know they can depend on others, and often, they have been disappointed.
If you can prove to your introverted partner that you are reliable and trustworthy, they will begin to accept you as being on their network, and they can then rely on you more.
Ultimately, if your introverted partner trusts you and can see you are going to be there for them, they will miss you if you are unable to help. So, keep building that supportive network.
10. Consider Their Needs and Ask What They Want or Need
You want to ask your introverted partner out at a party, but you find your partner is ready to leave. Far from blindsiding you, don’t get angry or upset as this is an example of how being able to know and understand your partner will score points for you.
Plus, if they are at a party or social gathering without you, they’ll miss you and how you understood and considered their needs.
So don’t simply assume you know what your introverted partner wants or needs (unless you really 100% know for sure).
Take them into consideration, ask what they expect, need, and want, and compromise so your relationship works for you both (and so your introverted beloved will miss you).
11. Be Interested in Them (and How They See the World)
Because introverts are so easily misunderstood (and cast out as being too weird), you’ll definitely get their attention (and love) if you make an effort to be genuinely interested in them.
Your introverted partner will definitely miss you when you aren’t around because you’ve taken the time to care about them and learn about how they see the world and why they think the way they do.
Ask about their values, opinions, desires, and passions, and instead of just staying on the surface, really dive deep with soul-searching questions to show your curiosity and eagerness to learn and understand your partner.
However, be gentle, don’t interrogate – listen.
12. Be Honest, Open, and Real
Since introverts are very perceptive, they’ll know when you are being fake. So, it’s best to be authentically you right from the start (your relationship will start from a much better place when you like your introvert for who they are and they like you for who you really are).
You’ll be noticed when you are real, open, and honest with your partner, and you’ll encourage your introvert to be real, open, and honest with you too. Your introverted partner will fall even harder and deeper for you (and they’ll miss you) when you can both be your quirky and flawed selves.
13. Find Small Gestures to Impress Them
When you make genuine, small, and loving gestures, your introverted partner will be reminded of you, which makes them miss you.
You really need to do your homework here as not just any gift or gesture will do. While a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates will do now … and … again, you can’t rely on these gifts to get your introvert to miss you.
Sit down and think about who they are. What are their passions, likes, and hobbies?
From there, narrow down your options until you have the right gesture. It can be a cozy, personal, and intimate date night where you watch an outdoor movie and star-gaze, a weekend away in the mountains, or getting an autographed or first-edition copy of a book they love.
14. Don’t Try to Fix or Change Them
There is nothing wrong with you, and there’s nothing wrong with your introverted partner. Introverts are used to people wanting to change or fix them because there must surely be something wrong with someone who isn’t super social, chatty, and all things extroverted, right?
Don’t label your introvert, don’t treat them as if they are inferior, and don’t try to fix them like they are your next project.
Simply accept and love them as they are, and they’ll miss you when you aren’t around or when you are taking a break from your relationship. There’s something really powerful when an introvert feels seen, gotten, and heard by a special someone so make sure this special someone is you.
15. Learn Their Love Language
Most people love others in their own love language. So, if you feel loved when people say “I love you” or similar expressions, you’ll tend to express love for your introvert in words.
And that’s great … if their love language is words of affirmation.
If it isn’t, they won’t understand that you love and care about them, and they won’t miss you.
Find out what your partner’s love language(s) is (spending quality time together, physical touch, getting thoughtful gifts, or acts of service) so you can love them in a way they understand. Only then will they miss you.
Final Thoughts on How to Make an Introvert Miss You
Since introverts live in their own world, it’s not easy to understand them, especially if you are an extrovert. And when you don’t quite get your beloved introverted partner, it’s not easy to know exactly how to make them miss you so you can show them how crazy you are about them.
Make your introverted partner miss you by texting them (not calling), not rushing them into things, taking things slow, respecting that they need to self-care and recharge their social batteries, learning their love language, and being supportive, honest, and authentic.
Are you dealing with an introvert who is ignoring you? They probably aren’t meaning to, but here’s our guide with 15 ways to respond to an introvert that’s not being social with you at the moment.
And if you're looking for more quotes about introvets, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- 13 Subtle Signs an Introvert Doesn’t Like You
- 21 Quicks Ways You Can Recharge as an Introvert
- 11 Introvert Networking Tips That Won’t Make You Feel Exhausted
Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick.