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We have all met people who act as if the world revolves around them. You know, they are those people who do not seem to understand the meaning of boundaries or take others' needs or considerations into account before making demands.
Additionally, self-entitled people get bent out of shape for the inconvenience of an accident on the freeway. They are more focused on how the wreck “messed up their plans”, they don’t bother to consider that the people in the wreck had plans too that were utterly ruined – or worse.
Moreover, we have encountered those people who feel that others should stop what they are doing to come to their aid. For instance, I worked with someone whose children called her throughout the workday. She tried to explain to them that she was at work and had no time to discuss trivial issues. However, her kids would insist that she address their needs immediately because they felt they were more important than their mother's job.
“Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.” ― Criss Jami, author of the poetry book Diotima Battery Electric Personality.
What is self-entitlement?
Self-entitlement is a mentality someone has when they feel owed a favor or deserving of something. Still, they did little to nothing to justify receiving such special treatment. In addition, it could be the behavior of an insecure person, and it is certainly a personality trait of a narcissist, those who feel everyone “owes them.”
The reasons a self entitled person may feel they deserve something is usually not considered a justifiable reason by others. For example, a world-class athlete gets drafted into the NBA and signs a multi-million-dollar contract.
He decides to purchase a home and a new car for his mother for supporting him throughout the years. Unfortunately, his father was never in the picture.
The athlete had no relationship with his dad and only knew who he was and where he lived once he became rich. Afterward, his father arrived on the scene expecting a house and car as well. When the athlete declined, his father was upset, feeling he was owed those things simply because he was his father.
There needs to be more known about how this type of mentality develops. However, many would speculate that it may come from being “spoiled” as a child and having every need catered to by one's parents or other authority figures.
This behavior is also believed to come from media coverage and other life events that can make a person feel special. It can be an unpredictable behavior that causes reactions others don't usually expect.
Many entitled people will honestly tell you they feel more deserving than others. Studies have also found that people often have trouble dealing with the behavior of self-entitled people. However, they are not the only ones suffering from the effects of one’s entitlement.
The entitled person themselves suffer. This is in large part because they have high expectations that can usually go unmet, and when they do, it can often lead to psychological problems.
Remember that just because someone is self-entitled doesn't mean we should cut them off or have no dealings with them. In some cases, we can't… especially if they are family members. Not to mention, as hard as it is to comprehend at times, someone being self-entitled doesn’t always equate to them being a terrible person.
We must first learn what the signs are. Then, we can understand how to get along with someone who always feels entitled.
11 Signs That Someone is a Self-Entitled Person
Sign #1. They only care about themselves.
Self-Entitled people will often reveal to you they are self-absorbed. They appear to forget about the needs of others while overly focusing solely on their personal desires.
For instance, your friend who only cares about themselves asks you how your day is going. However, their mind is only on their day and what is going on in their life.
Sign #2. Their sense of self-worth is exaggerated.
These people appear arrogant, think highly of themselves, and overestimate their abilities. In addition, self-entitled people feel they are better and more important than others, and their self-worth is more significant than those around them.
For example, Eric joined his college band in his first year. He was considered the state's best high school saxophone player in the previous two years. So, he was highly disappointed when the college band instructor started a college senior at 1st chair among the saxophone players instead of him.
He didn't understand that the upperclassman was more proficient at the saxophone than him, nor did he care.
Sign #3. Loves to throw pity parties.
Self-entitled people don't have a problem letting you know how they feel. They will repeatedly complain about how their boss mistreated them or how someone cut in front of them at the grocery store. People like this are fixed on the issue but never concern themselves with a solution to problems or how they could have made matters better.
Furthermore, self-entitled people can throw tantrums so bad by crying and whining that an empathetic person comes to their rescue. Therefore, be careful if you are an empath (a person with a caring and compassionate nature) because you are one who self-entitled and narcissistic people target, so they can cast their cares upon your shoulders.
Sign #4. They are surrounded by drama.
When someone with a more leveled head and a sensible way of thinking denies a self-entitled person from getting what they want, it can lead to drama. And drama always surrounds self-entitled people because their desires and expectations are often unreasonable for the average person to expect.
That ego-driven person has issues with people everywhere, from family members, neighbors, co-workers, and service workers in restaurants and grocery stores, to law enforcement personnel.
Sign #5. They seek adoration and praise.
We all love to be celebrated and told we are doing an excellent job at whatever task we do. However, an ego-centric person will crave it, even when they did nothing praiseworthy. For instance, Tom exceeded his company’s sales quota for the year and received an award for his hard work and tireless effort.
Dakota, on the other hand, did not reach his goals. He missed a lot of work and never volunteered to work overtime to achieve his goals. Yet he complained that he was not praised for his contribution to the company and stated that he was undervalued by the unappreciated.
Sign #6. Take more than they give.
Self-entitled people don't care about what others need as much as they are concerned with meeting their desires. In addition, they have a double standard to what qualifies them to receive something compared to others.
For example, Shannon donated a few old children’s books to a non-profit organization that encourages children to read. Later, the organization threw a banquet, their biggest fundraiser of the year, to further their work and reach more children. Tickets to the banquet were $50 per person.
Many people who volunteered hundreds of hours and donated thousands of dollars to the organization throughout the year bought tickets. However, Shannon felt she did not have to purchase tickets because she made that one-time donation of books.
In her frustration, she complained to everyone who would listen about how the organization was a rip-off and tried to discourage them from supporting it.
Sign #7. They believe they deserve happiness, even at the expense of others.
If a self-entitled person has to knock others down or sabotage their efforts to be happy and get what they want, they will do it. Their inflated sense of self-worth has them believing others don't deserve to be happy if they aren't. So, they will crush the spirits and dreams of those around them to make it happen.
It reminds me of the television show from the '80s, “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Boss Hogg was the self-entitled commissioner of Hazzard County and a millionaire who loved money.
Conspiring with Roscoe P. Coltrane, his Sherriff, Boss was known for holding rigged contests so that he would win the competition himself and gain the money from those who paid to watch.
He also plotted and schemed to make the county people forfeit their mortgage payments to his bank so that he could obtain their property and sell the real estate for a hefty profit.
Sign #8. They gaslight others.
Self-entitled individuals will belittle others, especially their significant others and close friends, trying to make them feel guilty for not giving in to their needs or seeing things their way. They attempt to make their partners and friends feel crazy, insensitive, and selfish.
For example, I have a close friend who is married to a self-entitled person. The person, her husband, consistently calls her names, yells at her, and belittles her.
Moreover, he feels that she has changed on him, and everything will be ok within their marriage if she goes back to acting as she did in the past.
The only thing that changed is that she finally realized her self-worth and that she does not need to feel intimidated by him any longer and give in to his selfish demands. She still loves him and wants compromise on both sides, yet he feels he doesn’t need to change.
Sign #9. They don’t think rules apply to them.
A self-entitled person has an “I do what I want to do attitude.” Employers see this attitude often with employees. They break company rules and get very upset when management has to give disciplinary actions. The entitled person doesn't feel they should deal with the consequences of their behavior.
The same goes for children. Parents will ground (punish or take privileges away from) their children for getting bad grades or trouble at school. Yet, the self-focused children feel so entitled that they take part in activities that were taken away as punishment, with no remorse. Some boldly do them, and others sneak and do them.
Sign #10. They don’t own up to their mistakes.
Self-entitled individuals always feel it is someone else's fault when a project or endeavor doesn't go as planned. They think they have done their part, and if others matched their efforts, things would not have gone array. Even when that was clearly not the case.
This is common among star athletes. Their self-esteem is inflated due to media attention and the praise of the coaches and fans. For instance, Todd was a star track runner for his high school.
He had broken most of the state records and had tons of media attention and visits from college scouts. However, in a semi-final competition, Todd dropped the baton when it was handed to him.
As a result, he could not catch up to the other runners and win the competition. When interviewed after the game, he blamed his teammate, stating that he did not correctly hand the baton to him.
However, upon further review of the video, it was seen that Todd was distracted by one of the cheerleaders when it was his time to take the baton, which led to the debacle.
Sign #11. They like to talk about themselves.
Self-entitled people are challenging to talk to when you need to vent or share something on your heart. They are all about themselves, so what starts as a conversation about your problems ends up being all about them. It is a subtle way of saying, “You have no right to complain. I have it much worse.”
You may even find a self-absorbed person impatient or disinterested when talking to them as if you are keeping them from doing something more important at the moment.
Final Thoughts on 11 Signs That Someone is a Self-Entitled Person
No matter how nice and welcoming we are, or how many boundaries we set up to protect ourselves, we will always run into self-entitled people. Therefore, it is vital to know the signs, so we are not caught off guard by their behavior. In addition, there are steps we can follow when it comes to dealing with people with an entitlement mentality.
You may have read this article and realized you are the self-entitled one. Remember, it doesn't make you a horrible person. Yet, it is essential to recognize your behavior and make a plan to stop thinking only of yourself.
You can start by realizing that things won’t always go your way. And if you continue with this behavior, you may ruin relationships with great people and shut the door on excellent career opportunities and the chance to be a better human being.
Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick.