13 Reasons to Never Force Anyone to Talk to You

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As I have learned in life, most people do what they want to do.  In any relationship, regular communication is key if a person loves and cares for you on any level.  Unfortunately, many of us chase after the love and affections of others. 

We do this because we are convinced that somehow that person can either be persuaded to love us back.  Furthermore, we even try to convince ourselves that the person is just busy, or any other excuses we tell ourselves to keep people around that don't return our interest. 

No relationship, whether platonic or romantic, should be one-sided. 

What Are Some of the Ramifications of Being in a One-Sided Relationship?

A one-sided relationship can have serious physical, emotional, and psychological ramifications.  Unfortunately, like many of you, I understand this “all too well.” 

Have you ever tried to make a connection with someone who was a narcissist?  They have a sense of entitlement, constantly needing you to compliment and praise them, or they have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. 

Maybe they are rude and obnoxious to others without remorse. 

They frequently belittle, demean, bully, and intimidate you and others.  Unfo. nately, so many of us have found ourselves in relationships with these types of people. 

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A one-sided relationship can have serious physical, emotional, and psychological ramifications.

It is important to realize that trying to force that person to have a meaningful conversation and work through issues will not happen 99% of the time.  You can explain your side of things and how the relationship is one-sided, but they may never see things your way. 

They are self-absorbed and only looking for something out of a friendship or romantic relationship that benefits them personally. 

It may feel like you are “beating your head against a brick wall.”  First, one-sided relationships leave you feeling physically and mentally drained.  Then, emotionally it makes you feel like you are in a relationship all by yourself. 

In addition, you are not having your emotional needs met. 

Furthermore, people in one-sided relationships take a hit psychologically.  You begin to feel you are a bother to your partner and others, often apologizing, even when you didn't do anything wrong. 

You feel stuck and frustrated, even taking that frustration out on others (acting out of character). 

Lastly, you may experience depression and anxiety as you navigate the troubled waters of a one-sided relationship because you are pouring yourself into the relationship, and your partner isn't meeting you halfway. 

13 Reasons to Never Force Anyone to Talk to You

1. Your Connection is No Longer Genuine

No one desires to be forced into anything they don't want to do.  By trying to force someone to have a conversation with you, they may do it to appease you, but their heart and genuine desires are not in it. 

In addition, no one will like you more or have their feelings changed concerning you when they are made to talk to you. 

Doing this sets you up for heartbreak from that person.  They may smile in your face but be very unhappy with you in your absence. 

2. You Don’t Have Time for That

Remember the viral YouTube video about 10 years ago of Kimberly “Sweet Brown” Wilkins?  She was being interviewed by the news about a fire that happened in her apartment building. 

One of the most famous lines from the video was when she said, “Ain't nobody got time for that!”  So, therefore, when it comes to forcing someone to talk to you, remember the words of “Sweet Brown,” “Ain't nobody got time for that!”

You shouldn't waste valuable time trying to get someone to communicate with you that is acting childish or has no interest in talking with you.  The only exception is for important life decisions.  Otherwise, let it go and move on, “Ain't nobody got time for that!”

3. It May Make Your Relationship Worse

Relationships should be fun, positive, and exciting.  Unfortunately, chasing someone down to talk to us is not any of those things.  Moreover, it is not fun for the other person either.  They will grow increasingly irritated with you and the relationship as you pursue them to have a conversation. 

If someone is irritated with you, forcing communication will not help matters.  Continuing to push invites more problems into the relationship.  When a person feels cornered in a situation, they usually act in a retaliatory way, again making matters worse.

4. It Is Mentally Draining

Planning and strategizing ways to make a person open up and communicate with you will prove to be a mentally draining process.  When you try one thing that doesn't work, you try something else. 

When another method fails, you try another gesture.  As a result, you grow weary mentally because you are striking out on every attempt. 

There is a lot of pressure involved in planning the right thing that “will work this time.”  But, unfortunately, this line of behavior ruins your peace of mind and gives someone more time and attention from you than they deserve.

5. You Don’t Like the Person You Are Turning Into

In a one-sided relationship, we grow frustrated and ask ourselves, “Why do I even try?”  However, we try repeatedly and end up feeling like a fool in the end.  When we do this, we begin to lose respect for ourselves and believe the negativity in our minds that we aren’t worth anyone’s effort. 

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Planning and strategizing ways to make a person open up and communicate with you will prove to be a mentally draining process.

On the contrary, you are worth the effort and shouldn't have to force yourself on anyone.  It is essential to change our behavior if we are trying to force communication with a person.  Because unfortunately, the negative feeling we have about ourselves will become more visible to others because of the toll it takes on us.

6. You Appear Desperate and Vulnerable

Another reason to never force anyone to talk to you is to protect yourself.  No one wants to appear weak and desperate because people will lose respect for us.  However, this happens when we consistently try to nag and force communication. 

Furthermore, this conduct can lead to self-sabotaging behavior.  You begin to feel that you aren't worth the effort and ruin other good things going on in your life.  However, that cannot be further from the truth.

7. You Cannot Make Someone Love You

This was a harsh reality I had to learn early in my teenage years, as I am sure you also had to learn.  “You cannot make someone love you or even like you in a certain way.” 

I remember thinking, “If I can just have a talk and share my feelings completely, things will be different.”  I was (and still am) a hopeless romantic. 

However, the truth is that you cannot force someone to have feelings for you.  If you pay close attention and notice resentment more than a desire to speak with you, it is time to walk away and let it go.  Remember, love must be mutual for a relationship to work. 

8. You Become an Emotional Abuser

When dealing with someone who doesn't want to talk with you.  Even if that person is selfish, you become the emotional abuser when you consistently try to get them to open up to you. 

It is a form of emotional manipulation to try to gain control of a person, forcing them to talk to you.  Many resort to shame, criticism, and embarrassment to get the other person to do what they want.  

In any relationship, you want to respect a person's clearly set boundaries and try not to cross the line.  Crossing them will cause a person to shut down on you more than it will encourage them to open up to you.   No one welcomes abuse.  Be careful not to cross that line.

9. You Want it More Than the Other Person Does

I know this could summarize most of these points.  First, however, we must realize that we simply want a more profound or meaningful relationship than the other person does.  I know it hurts, but the sooner we get to that realization, the sooner we can move on with our lives. 

Then we can truly stop emotionally investing in a situation where we are not seeing a return on that investment. 

Remember, it doesn't make someone a horrible person because they don't want what we want in a relationship.  We just weren't compatible or wanted the same things at the same time from each other. 

10. It Feels Unnatural

When a friendship or romantic relationship is good, it usually comes naturally.  Things just click, and everything is “clicking on all cylinders.”  There is excitement if there is a spark between the two of you, and conversation flows freely like WD40 on a cabinet door. 

However, it is awkward and painful if you must force a conversation with a person.  Nothing about it is smooth, like a cabinet door before the WD40.  Furthermore, it may be that you simply need to be patient and let things happen naturally.  You may be expecting too much too soon.

11. The Other Person Doesn’t Want to Talk

The person you are trying so desperately to talk to may not want to speak at all.  It could be that they just want your presence.  They feel peace or calm when you are near.  Or, they could even be an introvert, and they need to feel more comfortable around you before opening up to you. 

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The person you are trying so desperately to talk to may not want to speak at all.

In addition, the person may not want to talk to you at all but to someone else.  Then some people prefer to be left alone altogether and left with their thoughts and time of introspection. 

Furthermore, suppose you come across as too pushy.  In that case, most people will undoubtedly be turned off by the idea of having a conversation with you.

12. It Shows You May Lack Options

You may repulse others when you try to force them to talk to you.  This is because they see you as someone who has no real options.  If you did, you wouldn't try so hard to talk to them and build a relationship. 

Instead, it comes across as sad, desperate, and codependent, like you are only trying to speak to them because no one else wanted to talk to you. 

Moreover, they feel if you had options, you wouldn't put so much of your time and energy into trying to convince them that you are worth their time and effort.  So, you always want to project positive energy as if you have many options, even when you don't.  

13. There is an Imbalance of Relationship Expectations

Depending on the way a person was raised and the relationships they have seen modeled before them throughout the years, they may have very different expectations out of the relationship than you. 

For example, they feel a friendship or romantic relationship should go one way.  However, the way they feel it should go may be significantly different from the type of relationship you are pursuing with them. 

It is essential to be patient and find some middle ground, realize you are just two different people, and move on. 

Final Thoughts on 13 Reasons to Never Force Anyone to Talk to You

Actions speak louder than words.  If a person desires to have fellowship with you, it will happen.  You will be a priority and should never have to question where you stand with a person.  

However, if you find yourself in a one-sided relationship and you want to end things, here are a few steps you may want to take. 

  • Set a firm deadline – You may have said a thousand times that you are leaving or will not put up with particular behavior, but you are still doing it.  Set a deadline and stick to it.  Say to yourself, I am giving them another week to talk things out and improve the relationship, or I am moving on. 
  • No Blaming or Badmouthing the other person – Keep any attempts to converse civil.  Let things happen naturally and try to look practically at the situation.  Take responsibility for your part of the disconnect and try to move on without any lingering resentment. 
  • It is the right move for both of us – Try to look at the relationship ending as both of you being better for it.  You were not getting what you wanted out of it, and neither were they.  It will cushion the blow of spitting up from an emotional standpoint.  When asked by others about your relationship ending, you could say, “It was not healthy for either of us to remain like we were.”  It shows concern for your health as well as theirs. 

Breaking off a one-sided relationship is not always easy for either party involved.  However, it is important to remember not every relationship is worth saving.   If you are struggling to let go of a one-sided relationship, be sure to read this article filled with helpful and inspiring affirmations. 

There are also professionals you can talk to that will help you move forward from that situation.  You will find strength, confidence, and happiness that you simply haven't had in the past if you just put yourself and your needs first.   You deserve happiness!

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