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I remember sitting in class during my first week in senior high and feeling a little nervous about the year ahead of me. One of my classmates, Robert, had a misunderstanding with our English teacher. We were instructed to take notes during lessons, and our teacher assumed he was doodling.
She reprimanded him, and unfortunately, Robert talked back to the teacher instead of defusing the situation by explaining himself. As a result, the teacher asked him to leave the class, and she was clearly upset for the rest of the lesson.
Even though the situation was disruptive, we all learned something that day. Robert owned up to his mistake a day or two later, and our teacher apologized for the misunderstanding in front of the class. This taught us that we all have feelings and misunderstandings do happen.
Have you ever reacted out of embarrassment or anger toward a teacher, and now you don't know how to make amends?
If so, stick with us for a while longer… as we’re about to list 9 steps to write an apology letter to your school teacher (with an example) that will give you the guidance you need.
Before we start our lesson, let's first look into why writing an apology letter is important.
Why Is It Important to Write an Apology Letter?
The most important aspect of writing an apology letter is showing that the person you wronged is worthy of an apology and you are also worthy of forgiveness (if you ask for it).
Here's a look at some of the reasons why it's important to write an apology letter:
Regarding teaching, it's important to remember that kindergarten school children sometimes have big feelings they don't know how to express. Primary school children are often going through an awkward phase and can be disrespectful or shy.
High school and college students have raging hormones and can sometimes be quite rebellious. Even though teachers are equipped to deal with all these emotions, they also have emotions and feelings and sometimes get things wrong.
A Step-by-Step Approach to Writing an Apology Letter to Your Teacher
Realizing that you've overstepped the mark with a teacher can leave an uncomfortable and almost embarrassing feeling in its wake. In that moment, perhaps you felt justified and mature with your response, but now, you’ve had a chance to think and reevaluate, and you realize you need to make amends (or how will you show up at school with your head held high?).
If you're struggling to find the right words, let this step-by-step approach to writing an apology letter to your teacher guide you through the motions.
Step 1: Hold Space for Yourself (and Your Teacher)
Before you rush into an apology, you need to hold space for yourself (and for your teacher). Barging in with an immediate apology isn't likely to go how you'd like it to. In fact, it might make the situation worse.
When you hold space for yourself, you're making the conscious decision to be mentally and emotionally present for yourself without being judgmental (easier said than done, I know).
This gives you (and your teacher) time to calm down and understand why you reacted to the situation the way you did. It's the perfect way to work on some self-reflection and encourages self-awareness.
Try this: Use these simple techniques to hold space for yourself:
When you hold space for your teacher, you accept their truth, even if it's not yours. Remember, you are apologizing, meaning you must put your opinions aside while they work through the experience.
Step 2: Decide on a Platform to Write Your Apology
An apology is only as good as its delivery. You can have all the right intentions and words, and then it falls short because the platform may be unreliable or too over the top.
For example, animating an apology into a teddy bear delivering flowers while reading your apology might be perfect for a primary-level student. However, using that platform for a college teacher might not be as well received.
Remember, the platform you use will influence the response you receive, but you also don't want to be too personal, as this is your teacher and not your friend. So you still want to maintain that respectful relationship.
So let's talk platforms:
1. Sending a message via text is perfect for a short and sweet apology.
2. Sending an email is a great way to ensure your apology is delivered; plus, you can write a short or lengthy apology on this platform. This is quite a nice option for high school and college students.
3. Sending a message via WhatsApp (or another instant messaging platform) is a fun way for primary or kindergarten students to send voice notes to their teacher. They could also draw a picture and attach it to the message.
4. Handwritten apology letters are a good platform for any student, as it shows you spent time writing the apology letter (and put some thought and effort into it).
Step 3: Take a Deep Breath, Drop Your Defenses and Apologize
It's human nature to jump to your defenses when you're singled out or called out for something. Remember how it felt when you lashed back at your teacher without thinking (for example)? It's not a great feeling. So take a deep breath and drop your defenses.
There is nothing worse than receiving an apology letter that's actually an “if-pology” (apology letter full of ifs and buts), which shifts the blame right back at your teacher.
Try this: Put yourself in your teacher's shoes for a minute, and try to understand how the situation may have affected them. Now, focus on their feelings when you write your apology and avoid waffling or dragging it out, as it shows you aren't really committed to it.
Above all, don't use sarcasm or over-apologize, as this further irritates the teacher and makes your apology seem shallow.
Step 4: Be Mindful and Acknowledge Your Behavior
Just because you've apologized doesn't mean it ends there. You need to express regret by being mindful and acknowledging your behavior. By doing this, you're showing your teacher that you understand where you went wrong and are willing to learn from your mistakes.
Don't fall into the trap of apologizing and trying to justify yourself in the same breath. This will aggravate the situation and lead to a blame game. You will have an opportunity later in your letter to explain your actions but now is not the time.
You want your teacher to see that you're mature enough to acknowledge your mistakes, admit that you were wrong and accept any consequences. At this moment, it's important to remember that your teacher is also human and has triggers and feelings.
Being mindful of this fact shows that you have empathy and understanding.
Try this: Use “I” statements when you admit your mistake. For example: “I shouldn't have let my temper get the better of me.” Keep it simple and honest. Don't try to look for sympathy by saying things like, “I am the worst person ever. How could you ever forgive me?”
This comes across as condescending and messes with the flow of your apology, as it appears like you are the one who needs consoling.
Step 5: Express Your Gratitude
Everyone wants to feel needed, and teachers appreciate it when they hear they've made a positive difference in a student's life. You've come so far with your apology letter. Now it's time to let your teacher know how much you appreciate them.
There's a fine line between being authentic and blowing something way out of proportion. Don't oversell your gratitude. This makes you appear smug and sarcastic. Instead, let your teacher know how grateful you are to have them on your educational journey and that you appreciate them and what they do.
It's also a good idea to mention at some point that you're sorry to have disappointed them and that their feelings do matter.
Try this: Mention what you appreciate the most about your teacher. For example:
Step 6: Provide Some (Brief) Insight
Okay, so it's time to provide some brief insight into your side of the situation. You must remain focused on the overall goal of this process. You are apologizing for your behavior. Be careful not to deflect blame onto your teacher or make them feel like part of the problem.
Also, this isn't a platform for you to provide excuses for your behavior. You have already acknowledged that you were at fault, so don't retrace your steps. And yes, this step might make you feel slightly vulnerable, but remember, less is more, and you don't need to go into too much detail.
Be careful how you word this section, as you want your teacher to understand where you're coming from, but you don't want to justify your actions. There is a difference. Ultimately, you are still owning that what happened wasn't okay, and you will work on it.
Step 7: Make the Situation a Teachable Moment
Turning this situation into a teachable moment is a great way to show your teacher how you plan to make amends for your mistake. You want to put your teacher back in a position of respected authority, and there's no better way to do this than by asking them to teach you.
This places your teacher back in a position where they feel needed and appreciated for their knowledge.
Try this: Open the conversion by asking questions like:
Step 8: Ask for Forgiveness
Let's face it, admitting you were wrong and asking for forgiveness can be quite an intimidating and overwhelming moment. Essentially, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection.
If you are feeling stressed, remember that whatever the outcome is, you are mature enough to acknowledge your wrongs and ask for forgiveness (which is a big deal and will be greatly appreciated by your teacher.)
Let your teacher know that this incident has affected you too, and you are willing to do what it takes to repair any mistrust or disappointment. Keep this section short, as you've already said what you needed to in the body of the letter.
Try this: Show your teacher that you intend to right this wrong by being more mindful of situations and thinking before reacting. It's good to mention that you hope this incident strengthens your relationship and that you have learned a valuable lesson.
Step 9: Sample of an Apology Letter to Your School Teacher
Dear Miss Baldwin,
I hope my letter finds you well.
I have taken some time to reflect on my behavior in the classroom on Monday. I am disappointed in myself for how I handled the situation and how I spoke to you. You did not deserve that kind of disrespect and embarrassment, especially in front of the class.
I realize now that I reacted harshly before taking a moment to think about the situation. In doing so, I made the situation worse and put you in an unfair position. I am also aware of the disruption I caused in the class because of my outburst.
Please know that I value you as my teacher and appreciate everything you have done for me and my classmates. I am so sorry, and I am fully committed to being a more mindful student and thinking before I react. I also accept any punishment and consequences for my actions.
I know now that I should have explained myself from the start, and all of this could have been avoided. I admit that my ego got the better of me, and that won't happen again.
I hope you can forgive me for my disrespect in your classroom, and I know that I still have so much to learn from you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I hope to hear back from you.
Yours sincerely,
Robert
Final Thoughts on Writing an Apology Letter to Your Teacher
When it comes to the current state of educators, and education in general, teachers have had to learn to accept a lot of outbursts and disrespect due to the lack of discipline in classrooms and at home. So when a student, regardless of their age, presents them with a genuine apology… the teacher will be very grateful and, in some cases, surprised.
We are all human, and we all make mistakes or have misunderstandings, and that's okay. The important thing is that you own up to your mistakes and seek to make amends for your actions.
Writing an apology letter to your teacher and asking for forgiveness is a big deal, but remember, your teacher is worthy of an apology, and you are worthy of forgiveness.
If you enjoyed reading this guide, and would like more examples, why not check out my guides on 6 steps to write an apology letter to your girlfriend or 9 steps to write an apology letter to your friend with an example.
