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Do you have an off-the-charts connection with someone you’re attracted to, but can’t seem to figure out why you’re so intensely drawn to them?
Perhaps you don’t know what to do with yourself around the individual who, by the way, could be a platonic friend. Could it be chemistry that has you all giddy and tongue-tied?
Many couples are in relationships that lack a deeper-than-normal attraction called chemistry. Most of the time, it’s by design, since physical attraction or chemistry isn’t something you can create.
When present, it heightens the physical and emotional intimacy between a couple, creates a strong bond, and can be the basis of a long-lasting relationship.
If you’ve noticed the 25 intense chemistry signs between you and the object of your affection, then you just might have found the ONE! Hopefully, the feeling is mutual and you’re able to build a relationship filled with lots of love, romance, and happiness.
What Is Romantic Chemistry?
Chemistry in dating and relationships is a feeling that is hard to pin down and challenging to define. Relationship experts explained that it’s a mutual and magnetic bond that causes the couple to think of each other as irresistible.
Scientists studying human chemistry believe chemical bonds related to neurotransmitters in the brain may trigger an attraction with someone so intensely that it causes a tingle down your spine. Neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are believed to play roles in the magnetic attraction between two people.
The strong connection is felt mostly with a new romantic partner and in the early stage of dating. Although some people mistake normal physical attraction for chemistry, the connection goes beyond the physical. True chemistry encompasses an emotional, mental, spiritual, and even cognitive connection. For example, one partner is able to finish their partner’s sentence.
Interestingly, physical chemistry is not confined to romance. People confessed to feeling deeply attracted to platonic friends, co-workers, strangers, and even actors on TV. I have a crush on several celebrities I’ve never met. I just fell in ‘love’ with them from the TV screen.
If that hasn’t happened to you, then maybe you heard people say they had a work ‘husband’ or ‘work wife’. They mean someone who they care for dearly on a platonic level and may feel chemistry with. According to CNN, 23 percent of workers reportedly have had a work spouse.
Opinions are mixed on when exactly chemistry is sparked. I’m one of those people who believe that chemistry happens suddenly and instantaneously, usually on the first encounter with someone of the opposite sex.
Others have argued that you can develop a magnetic connection over time. Either way, once the sparks started flying… one thing is for sure, it’s an unmistakable feeling you can’t deny.
Because mutual chemistry between two people is rare and has to develop organically, some people find themselves jealous of couples who have that strong, mutual affection for each other. After all, most if not all adults want to experience that closeness with someone at least once in their lifetime, right?
What’s more, is that chemistry doesn’t equal love and doesn’t usually fade away. If the relationship ends, that underlying bond between the couple can bring them back together, even years later. Two people can also feel that undeniable spark with each other, but are not necessarily in love.
Perhaps you know a couple or two who love each other, but they seem to share more of a friendship. That energetic spark or luster between them isn’t there.
What Sparks Chemistry Between Two People?
Again, mutual chemistry is rare and cannot be manufactured. However, there are several things influencing this special human-to-human, electric-like attraction. They include:
According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., the more of these characteristics that are present, the more likely two people will sense that chemistry between each other. Dr. Campbell’s opinion was stated in the article by Brides.com, Chemistry Between People Depends on These 7 Traits.
Intense Chemistry Signs of a Strong Connection to Someone
You can’t plan to develop chemistry with someone or control the level or intensity. If it does happen, you’ll know. Just look for these signs the connection is more than just a random physical attraction.
#1. You’re Naturally Drawn to Each Other
From the moment you met each other for the first time, sparks started flying. However, weeks or months have passed and you still can’t figure out why you have such a strong attraction to the person. From their behavior and body language, you can tell they feel the same way about you.
That magnetic pull is one of the unmistakable signs it’s more than just a physical attraction. Because you’re so drawn to each other, you can’t seem to get enough of talking and doing fun stuff together. The more you hang out, the more you want to be around each other.
#2. You Connect On Multiple Levels
There is a difference in connecting with someone beyond physical attraction. When it comes to chemistry, things go deeper. People reportedly feel almost at one with each other on an emotional, mental, spiritual, and even cognitive level.
What is surprising is you’re not so much concerned with the person’s physical appearance or whether they fit the profile of the person you think is THE ONE.
How could that be possible? As explained by Marriage.com, “Chemistry is deeper than compatibility and involves that warm, fuzzy connection two people in a relationship feel when falling in love.”
#3. You Feel Like You’ve Known the Individual All Your Life
On at least two occasions, I met someone I had an instant affinity for and felt like I’d known them forever. I swore I had met my soulmate.
Chemistry with your partner makes you feel like you’re falling head over heels in love with the ONE. They feel like a familiar spirit you’ve met before.
You interact so easily and effortlessly as if you’ve spent a lifetime together. These aren’t things you feel when you are attracted to how someone looks, smiles, or dresses. Intense chemistry feels like a connection of mind, body, and soul.
#4. You Have a Deep Connection You Can’t Seem to Explain
Your new romantic interest lights up when they see you. Their eyes appear wide open and they flash smiles that meet the eyes. You feel a heaviness in the pit of your being or fluttering sensations called ‘butterflies in the stomach’ when the person is in your presence. “Limerence” is the official name for the sensation.
Your heart also beats faster, the palms of your hands get sweaty, or you feel nervous. Until now, you couldn’t figure out that chemistry is what’s causing those somewhat odd physiological symptoms.
#5. It’s Easy to Be Yourself Around Them
They’re easy to talk to and you don’t feel like you have to watch what you say or do to avoid offending them. Nothing you say is boring, irrelevant, or weird to them.
They are tuned into everything you say and do, as well as your emotions. They understand where you’re coming from without you needing to explain.
You can’t help but wonder if they could read your mind. Otherwise, how on earth do they ‘get’ you? The two of you remain with each other even if you run out of things to talk about.
You don’t mind sitting there in silence and enjoying each other’s company for as long as possible.
#6. You ‘GET’ Each Other, Quirks and All
Surprisingly, you’ve finally found someone who understands you with all your weird, queer, or outlandish behaviors. Not only that, they, too, feel the same way about you. You allow yourselves to experience a range of emotions, such as anger, fear, and sadness, without fear of judgment, criticism, or ridicule.
You can’t do that with just anyone, only someone who takes you as you are, quirks and all! If one of you is having a bad day, you’re both able to read each other’s body language. Right away, you know what’s up and are able to offer to meet each other’s emotional needs.
#7. You Think About Them All The Time
The person you’re googly-eyed about must be tired from running through your mind all day, every day. You hate being away from them.
All you think of is what you did the last time you met and how good they make you feel. You think about their likes and dislikes, and count the many ways you could make each other happy.
Your friends have even complained about how distracted you are of late and aren’t paying them much attention. Little do they know, you’ve met the love of your life! Your thoughts wander to a future together, marriage, kids, and traveling the world.
You bet, your boyfriend is thinking the same things too. He could hardly get you out of his mind. That’s how mutual chemistry works.
#8. You Feel Like You Can’t Function When You’re Away from Them
Not only is your mind preoccupied with thoughts, dreams, and fantasies, you feel dysfunctional…like literally. You’re unable to focus at work. In fact, you seem to lose interest in doing anything else. All you want to do is be close to the person who’s the object of your affection.
You don’t want to take any chances and allow them to slip away. You wish you could trade in going to work for spending your days daydreaming of all the things you want to do together.
#9. You Only Have Eyes for Each Other
I fell in love twice and there was certainly mutual chemistry in both cases. During my relationship and marriage, I was blind to the world. Every man was invisible to me, regardless of how attractive he appeared.
Love truly blinds you so much that you’re only focused on your partner. You also notice your partner is checking out or flirting with other women, a tell-tale sign that they’re only interested in you. Stories about exes hardly ever come up in conversations.
After all, you two are fixated on getting to know all there is to know about one another. In your minds, you’re the only two people on the freaking planet.
#10. You Anticipate Each Other’s Needs
To be able to know what someone might be thinking, feeling, or needing, you have to be in tune with them on an emotional or mental level. Empaths are intuitive and are able to connect with you this way because of how their brain is wired.
If you and your partner are empaths, you can take care of each other’s needs seamlessly. You’ll sense when something is wrong and know when to offer support or give each other space to recover. Since you understand how it feels to be overlooked, there’s less chance of neglecting each other’s physical and emotional needs.
#11. You Finish Each Other’s Sentences
What? Finishing each other's sentences? That has to take some type of cognitive connection to happen, right? Being with someone who knows what you’re about to say isn’t an everyday occurrence and could be one of many intense chemistry signs between you and your girlfriend.
You are comfortable being your true selves around each other, willing to discuss personal matters, and are completing each other’s statements. This kind of bond is authentic and not like when a narcissist mirrors your thoughts, words, and behavior to make you believe you are soulmates.
#12. Time Goes by Quickly When You’re Together
Do you find it quite unusual that you lose track of time whenever you’re spending time together? You’re so into each other and what’s happening during your meetings that you lose a sense of time. That’s the difference chemistry makes.
Losing a sense of time around them does have some dangers. Have you forgotten appointments and ran late for work all because you were too wrapped up in each other? It’s not like when you’re interacting with someone you can’t stand and keep glancing at your watch, signaling you’re ready to be gone!
#13. There’s Awkwardness or Shyness Between You Two
Once the chemical spark is activated between you two, all of a sudden, you feel self-aware. You are dying to sit close to each other or hold hands, but are shy and jittery.
When you finally work up the courage to do so, you may end up touching each other in the ‘wrong’ part of the body.
For example, your partner ends up brushing his lips against yours in a botched attempt to whisper something in your ear.
Although you feel shy or awkward for a moment, you actually relish the fact that your bodies touch in a romantic way.
#14. You Crack Each Other Up
Laughter in relationships positively affects the health of the couple. Laughing releases feel-good hormones that help relieve stress, fatigue, and anxiety.
According to Bride.com, having a good rapport and a shared sense of humor are traits seen when there’s chemistry between two people.
Striking up a conversation is easy and they’re going to say things that make each other laugh. There’s always room for playful banter and teasing each other.
Have you noticed your person gets the joke even when others can’t seem to understand what’s so funny? You may develop the kind of unspoken language that causes you to burst out laughing at each other.
Be warned, others may look at the two of you like you’re crazy. What they don’t understand is that you two are on the same wavelength.
#15. You Can Hardly Wait to See Them Again
Having a strong attachment to each other will make being apart excruciating. You may feel as if your world stopped or you can’t breathe properly until you’re back in each other’s arms again.
Being away from them can make you feel anxious or nervous. You may miss them immensely like you’ve never missed anyone else before, or feel lonely from longing to see them again.
Chemistry activates dopamine in the reward region of the brain the same way it does in people who are addicted to alcohol or drugs. This causes you to crave to get next to your romantic partner so you can feel calm, relaxed, and satisfied.
#16. You Complement Each Other
Have you ever seen two people and thought they fit perfectly together just by the way they interact with each other? Could it be because of the chemistry that they share?
If, in fact, you share mutual chemistry with your person, you’ll feel as if they’re the yin to your yang or the peanut butter to your jelly. That doesn’t mean you have to have similar personality traits. The differences in your personalities are what make you a complete whole.
#17. You Share Mutual Interests and Goals
One of the most pleasing things to learn about someone new in your life is that they share similar goals, dreams, and interests as you. For example, your career, family, spiritual, and self-development goals and plans align.
I don’t know about you, but I breathe a sigh of relief. To me, almost half the work is done. You won’t have to force them to like what you like or fear your conflicting goals will destroy what could’ve been a match made in heaven. Instead, mutual interests and desires make it easier to support each other’s success journey.
#18. They Feel Like Your Soulmate
A soulmate is someone who connects with you in mind, body, and soul. They feel like a lost best friend who suddenly shows up and loves you unconditionally, without needing to know anything about you.
My ex-husband and I met and fell in love instantaneously and we hadn’t even had a first date yet. Sparks were flying. It felt like love at first sight. Deep down inside, I felt he was my soulmate. We did divorce, but remain best of friends. We still think we’re each other’s soulmates and are planning on getting back together.
#19. You Flirt with Each Other All The Time
You’re so captivated and infatuated with each other, so much so that you enjoy flirting, regardless of where you are. Flirtatious looks, gestures, texts messages, and emails are all part of the fun.
Flirting is a sensual way to get your attention and maintain attraction. The gestures also function as a way to gauge each other’s interest levels. People who share intense chemistry signs know almost right away the feeling is mutual, but continue to flirt to keep the connection going.
#20. You’re Happy Around Each Other
When you feel good and safe around your partner, you’re more likely to experience greater levels of happiness. They bring a smile to your face from their mere presence. Your energy levels skyrocket! You feel alive around them. It’s almost as if they’re your lifeline.
You’re like friends who love each other and they make you feel sensations no one else does. It’s one of the reasons you can’t stop thinking about your love interest and long to spend all of your time around them.
#21. The Person Brings Out the Best in You
Relationships are far more satisfying when you’re paired with someone who rubs you in all the right ways. You strive to give them your best self the same way they do for you. They accept you with all your flaws and love and support you in ways that make you want to improve.
I had the unfortunate experience of dating a malignant narcissist before I knew what narcissism was. He lied, gaslit me, and even called me crazy.
After enduring narcissistic abuse for a period of time, I became super angry and lashed out in rage. I finally told him, “You bring out the worse in me.” He unleashed a side of me I’d never known existed. I thought we had chemistry, but come to find out, he was mirroring me to fool me into thinking he was my soulmate.
#22. Both of You are Open and Vulnerable with Each Other
Mutual vulnerability in a relationship might be as rare as having chemistry with someone. One person is usually the over-sharer and the other is closed-off. Opposite attract, they say. However, a couple like this never really gets to know and connect with each other on a deeper emotional level.
With your current partner, you both share stories about your past, secrets, fears, fantasies, goals, and dreams. Nothing is too personal or off the table. You trust each other and are willing to be vulnerable. Discussing uncomfortable subjects is one sign of vulnerability in relationships.
#23. You Can’t Seem to Keep Your Hands Off Each Other
The moment you get together, you run straight into each other’s arms. You want to nestle on the couch while sniffing each other’s bodies. Wherever it leads after that is nobody’s business. One thing is sure, your encounter is passionate and satisfying.
Trouble keeping your hands off each other extends to when you’re out in public. There are plenty of public displays of affection. Sometimes, it goes too far. The next thing you hear is someone shouting this from across the street: “Get a room!”
Strong sexual tension is also a major reason why you swear you two are experiencing intense chemistry signs.
#24. Your Body Language is a Dead Giveaway!
Postures, facial expressions, gestures, and movements make up our body language. A couple’s body language tells the story of their relationship, whether they’re happy, sad, or can’t stand each other.
Though a person may not be a body language expert, there are intense chemistry signs related to how you and your partner interact that will reveal your feelings. For example, looking each other in the eye, blushing, holding hands, and brushing against each other every chance you get.
Smiling a lot and playing with your hair are other body language signs of attraction.
#25. You Make Eye Contact
You’ve probably seen couples sitting in a restaurant, gazing at each other intently and looking love-struck and lost in each other. They don’t seem to notice anything else going on around them.
Making eye contact is a body language that sends a strong message that the person is deeply interested and tuned in. Sometimes it’s the normal eye contact when speaking to each other, other times you’re just gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. You may sense a strong magnetic pull that convinces you the person is a kindred spirit.
Final Thoughts on Intense Chemistry Signs of a Deep Connection
Chemistry happens naturally and allows two people to connect in ways that are beyond their comprehension. When both people feel the same, it makes the relationship feel alive and a lot more fulfilling.
That doesn’t mean your relationship will fail or you’ll be unhappy if you don’t sense the spark. Sharing a magnetic and irresistible bond is just the beginning. Successful relationships take more than those strong feelings… but chemistry sure does make the romance a whole lot better!
Even if you feel like you’re head over heels right now, you should still take things slow in the beginning. Know the signs that it may be Too Soon to Move in Together.