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Being in a relationship with someone is an amazing feeling. You finally have someone to experience life with and share all of your ups and downs. It can feel good to share the same inside jokes or have someone to rely on when you need it.
Although all of these things are great, what makes a relationship truly special is having core values that both partners share.
Sure, no two people are alike. We will always have differences with our partners, but those differences don't have to ruin a relationship when you have similar values to bind you together.
Regardless of how much love is involved, a relationship takes a lot of work. It’s not always easy to get along with someone 24/7, which is why having core values can help keep you both on the same page.
What are Core Values?
Core values are the basic beliefs that guide our actions and decision-making. They shape who we are as individuals and can also help to guide us in our relationships.
Some examples of core values are:
When both partners in a relationship have the same core values, it can help to create a strong and lasting bond.
Why is Having Core Values Important?
Core values are so important because they help us to stay true to ourselves. In a relationship, it can be easy to get caught up in the other person and lose sight of who we are as individuals.
By having core values, we can stay grounded and remember what is truly important to us. It can be easy to forget our values when we are in the midst of a disagreement with our partner.
But if we can remember what we value most, it can help to keep the relationship on track. If you are a respectful person, you can get mad or disagree without getting loud, mean, or violent.
How Do Core Values Apply to Relationships?
There are many ways that core values can apply to relationships. One of the most important ways is that they can help to strengthen the bond between partners.
When both partners share the same core values, it creates a foundation of trust and respect. This can be the beginning of a really strong and healthy relationship that can last through many life tests.
Sharing core values can also help partners communicate better. In any relationship, communication is key. By sharing the same values, it can be easier to communicate with each other and understand where the other person is coming from.
This understanding comes in handy during disagreements. For example, you may not agree with your partner giving help to a particular person, but you will have some understanding if you both value community service or giving back.
Your partner may not make the same decisions as you but if you both share the same values, it can help to create mutual respect. This is because you will be able to understand where they are coming from even if you don’t agree with them.
Finally, core values can also help to create boundaries in a relationship. It’s important to have boundaries in any relationship so that both partners feel comfortable and respected.
By sharing the same values, it can be easier to set these boundaries. For example, if you both value honesty, you will be less likely to tolerate lying from your partner.
17 Core Values in Relationship Examples
1. Honesty
One of the most important core values in any relationship is honesty. This value is so important because it helps to create a foundation of trust. If you can't be honest with your partner, it will be very difficult to have a healthy and lasting relationship.
If you are with someone honest, you should be able to feel at ease if your lover goes out for a night on the town with their friends or colleagues. A loyal partner won't lie to you about where they have been or what they have been doing.
You should also feel content to express your true feelings to an honest partner. If you are upset about something, they will be more likely to listen and try to understand where you are coming from. An honest partner won't try to hide their feelings from you or make you feel like you are overreacting.
2. Loyalty
This value helps to create a sense of security and trust. If you are with someone loyal, you should feel confident that they will always be there for you, no matter what.
A loyal partner will always have your back, whether you are going through a tough time or just need someone to talk to. At some point, one or both of you may eventually deal with issues such as illness or job loss. During these difficult times, a loyal partner will be by your side, providing support and love.
Unfortunately, there have been times when wives with cancer have been abandoned by their husbands. This is just one example of why loyalty is so important in a relationship. On the other hand, when beloved performer Tina Turner got sick and needed a kidney transplant, her husband showed the ultimate act of love and donated his.
3. Respect
Respect is an important value in any relationship, whether it is between husband and wife, friends, or family members. This value helps to create a sense of equality between partners. Everyone should feel like their opinion is respected and that they are valued as an individual.
When you respect your partner, you should be interested in their hobbies and activities, even if you don't share them. For example, your partner may enjoy going to car shows on the weekends, while you would prefer to stay home and read a book.
However, if you respect your partner, you will be willing to occasionally go to the car show with them and try to understand their hobby.
You should also avoid belittling your partner or making them feel like they are not good enough. This can be very hurtful and damaging to a relationship. If you have different opinions, you should be able to discuss them without putting each other down.
4. Trust
Trust helps partners feel secure and safe with each other. When there is trust in a relationship, partners should feel like they can rely on each other for support, both emotionally and physically.
This core value also presents itself with money, since couples share finances. For example, you may trust your partner to handle the family finances while you focus on other areas.
However, if you don't trust your partner, you may feel like you need to keep a close eye on their spending. This can eventually lead to arguments and resentment. Financial mistrust can also cause one partner to hide assets from the other, which can be very damaging to a relationship.
One of the most important aspects of trust is honesty. If you can't be honest with your partner, it will be difficult to trust them. Another key ingredient in trust is communication.
5. Communication
If you and your partner can openly communicate with each other, it will be easier to trust each other, since you will always know where you both stand. When you can't be honest with your partner, it will be very difficult to have a healthy and lasting relationship.
Partners who communicate well with each other can openly share their thoughts, feelings, and needs. This allows both partners to feel heard and understand each other better.
Good communication also helps to resolve conflicts in a relationship, since both partners will be able to state their case and listen to each other's perspective.
It's important to note that communication is a two-way street. Both partners need to be willing to listen as well as share. If one partner is always doing all the talking, it will eventually lead to frustration and resentment.
6. Compromise
In any relationship, there will be times when partners don't see eye to eye. This is normal since no two people are exactly alike. However, it's important to be able to compromise with each other so that you can find a middle ground that works for both of you.
For example, if you want to go out to eat at a fancy restaurant but your partner would prefer a casual night in, you may need to compromise and go to a restaurant that is somewhere in between.
Compromise also comes into play when making decisions about major life events, such as starting a family or buying a house. It's important to discuss these topics openly and be willing to make compromises so that both partners feel happy and comfortable with the decision.
7. Work Ethic
In any relationship, both partners must have a strong work ethic. This doesn't necessarily mean that both partners need to have high-powered jobs. Instead, it means that both partners should be willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work.
This may include things like taking care of the household chores, being financially responsible, or even just being willing to put in the effort to make your partner happy. When both partners have a strong work ethic, it can help to build a foundation of respect and trust.
8. Humor
Having a sense of humor is an important core value in any relationship. When both partners can laugh together, it can help to build a strong connection. Laughter can also help to relieve tension during difficult times and can make the good times even better.
It's important to note that not everyone has the same sense of humor. This is why it's important to be able to share a few laughs with your partner but also to be respectful of their boundaries. If you're always cracking jokes, even when your partner isn't in the mood, it can eventually lead to tension and frustration.
9. Family
For many people, family is an important core value. This may include things like being close with your parents, siblings, and extended family. It may also include having children of your own someday.
When both partners share this core value, it can help to create a stronger bond. This is because you will both be on the same page when it comes to things like spending time with family, making major life decisions, and raising children.
However, if one partner is willing to create children but does not understand the value of guiding and spending time with them, it will put more pressure on the other parent. In other words, make sure you both understand what the other one means when it comes to family values.
Of course, it's important to respect each other's families as well. This means being accepting of each other's parents, siblings, and extended family members. It also means being supportive of each other during times of family conflict.
10. Forgiveness
No relationship is perfect and there will be times when partners make mistakes. It's important to be able to forgive each other so that you can move on and continue to grow together.
Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean that you should be a doormat. If your partner repeatedly hurts you, it's important to address the issue and decide if the relationship is right for you. However, if your partner makes a one-time mistake, it's important to be able to forgive them and move on.
11. Balance
A relationship involves two people – not one. So maintaining a balance between giving and taking is a must for a healthy relationship. Both partners should feel like they are being equally loved and valued. If one partner feels like they are always giving and the other is always taking, it can eventually lead to resentment.
It's important to find a balance between your own needs and the needs of your partner. This may mean making sacrifices from time to time, but it's important to make sure that both partners feel like their needs are being met.
Of course, this balance will look different for every couple. Some couples may need more time apart while others may need to spend more time together. It's important to communicate with each other and figure out what works best for both of you.
12. Romance
Romance helps build a strong bond in a relationship and should be valued. Romance, as it relates to physical intimacy, is great. It deepens the connection between you and your spouse. However, being romantic expands far beyond the physical.
It is leaving sweet notes for your spouse to “find,” expressing your feelings to them. Additionally, romance is taking a spontaneous drive to a romantic place in nature you and your significant other enjoys.
Furthermore, romance is flowers for no reason, breakfast in bed, candlelit dinners, and evenings out at a fine dining establishment. It shows your special someone that you don't take them for granted. Without romance, your relationship is prone to grow stale.
13. Growth
No matter the relationship, growth is necessary. When it is valued, each person in the relationship uses adversity and disagreements as an opportunity to learn and improve.
For example, after a fight, you know what triggers the other person and, over time, learn what makes them tick. As a result, you discover better ways to co-exist and have a fruitful relationship.
For instance, when Terrance and Sadie were newlyweds, they frequently argued. The marriage was stressful at first, and they considered getting a divorce.
However, after Terrance and Sadie began to see a marriage counselor, they started understanding the value of growth in the relationship to make it work. The two started talking things through when disagreements arose and learning productive ways to live together peacefully.
14. Accountability
Accountability for many adults is like using profanity. So many are offended by it and see it as giving up their freedom. However, accountability is not only freedom, but safety in a relationship.
Relationships involve give and take, and to have accountability is acknowledging that you recognize the magnitude of your behavior and how it contributes to the life of others. It should affect every decision we make.
Accountability is giving those affected by your behavior the open door to speak freely about how your actions have contributed positively or negatively to their lives.
15. Generosity
When you share the core value of generosity in a relationship, you set the tone of considering the other person over yourself. It also shows your partner the value you place on them and opens the door for creativity, keeping things exciting and fresh.
For example, Kirk and his wife Andrea consistently look for thoughtful ways to give to one another. Kirk works long hours, so he prioritizes giving Andrea much of his free time and attention for “honey-dos,” their favorite hobbies, and other fun activities they mutually enjoy. So, the two of them usually share household chores, go for bike rides, play a card game, or take in a good movie.
Andrea generously gives to Kirk by cooking his favorite meals, planning activities that suit his interest, and other creative and more intimate ways to express her appreciation for his hard work to provide for the family.
16. Acceptance
Acceptance is vital to having a successful relationship. One of the most refreshing things a partner can offer another is the peace of mind that you embrace them, flaws and all. Conversely, a true sign a relationship may be toxic is when you are not free to be yourselves and have to walk on eggshells for fear of rejection.
I have a friend named Ella, who secretly felt stressed about her new relationship with Ben. They had only been dating briefly, but she really liked him. She feared Ben and his family wouldn't fully accept her because she lived a meager life and they were very wealthy.
So rather than being open with Ben and giving him a chance to accept her, she remained secretive about her personal life. This made Ben feel she was holding back and didn't fully accept him. The two eventually parted ways.
17. Honor
Relationships thrive when honor is shown. That is why men send flowers to their wives' jobs, and the wives take pictures of the flowers and share them on social media to brag about their husbands. Honor is a two-way street and an essential value that should be part of any relationship.
Words can't express the magnitude that honor can have, whether it's children honoring parents or partners honoring each other in a relationship. When you honor them, your actions, words of encouragement, and praise highlight the special person in your life for the whole world to see.
My friend’s parents, Ron and Mary, have been married for 50 years. As their anniversary approached, Ron went to great lengths to plan the perfect get-together.
He threw an elaborate dinner party and solicited the help of his grandson to create a short video. The video would give Ron, his family members, and friends a chance to tell Mary what she meant to them and show honor.
Mary honored Ron by giving a heartfelt speech about how he worked hard to provide for them throughout the years. She also praised him for sticking by her side while she battled cancer a few years prior.
Final Thoughts on Core Values in Relationships
Our relationships take up a large part of our lives, so it only makes sense that our core values would play a role in them. When both partners share similar core values, it can help to create a stronger bond. However, even if you don't share all of the same values, it's still possible to have a healthy and happy relationship.
The most important thing is to communicate with each other and be respectful of each other's values. If you can do that, you'll be on your way to a strong and lasting relationship.
Your values may even change a bit over time, as you grow and change together. Learn more about how to deal with your partner and read 5 Strategies to Cope with New Relationship Anxiety.
And if you're looking for more resources on relationships, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- Toxic VS Healthy Relationship: 7 Important Differences
- 5 Reasons to Stop Chasing People and Relationships
- 23 Major Emotional Abuse Red Flags in Your Relationship
