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Gold digger. That’s the first thing that comes to mind when a man recognizes a woman only wants him for his money. Sadly, she may already be halfway through his bank account before he realizes her intentions.
My ex gave me a debit card to have access to his money anytime. The gesture was a huge sign of trust in our relationship. He trusted me not to ‘take him to the cleaners’.
If you’re a guy who is just as trusting, it’s important for you to know the signs she only wants your money before you put your hard-earned cash in the wrong hand.
Stick with me and I’ll tell you WHY certain women go after men solely for financial benefits. Then, we’ll look at common signs it is all about the Benjamins.
What Is a ‘Gold Digger’?
“Gold digger’ is a derogatory slang term used to describe a person who enters into a relationship or marriage with another solely to extract money or expensive gifts. A gold digger is typically a woman who latches on to a rich man purely for material benefits.
Women who use seduction and other manipulative tactics female narcissists use on a man to gain wealth or advance their social status are also considered gold diggers. Some people believe this type of woman is nothing but a con artist who swindles money out of the pockets of unsuspecting victims.
The stereotypical image of a gold digger is a young, beautiful woman who gets into a relationship or marriage with an older, rich man.
Older men are easier targets since they tend to feel more insecure because of their age, looks, and sexual abilities. She’ll cleverly worm her way into life and pockets by sexually seducing or charming him into submission.
Some of these women will play the long game, meaning they’ll marry rich men with a secret plan to inherit their wealth after they die. Greed has led some of these ladies, with nothing more than evil intentions, to murder their husbands to cash in on their life insurance.
Where Did the Term “Gold Digger” Come From?
The term ‘gold digger‘ was originally used in its literal sense to describe “a person who seeks or digs for gold in a gold field.” The word was commonly used especially during the Gold Rush in the 1800s when gold mining was quite popular.
According to Online Etymology Dictionary, the use of the slang to refer to a “woman who pursues men for their money,” was first used byauthor, Rex Beach, in his 1911 book, The Ne’er-Do-Well.
Around the same time, in the early 20th century, ‘gold digger’ was also being used to stereotype sex workers. When used nowadays, the term almost always means the person is interested only in financial gains.
Why Do Some Women Go After Men for Money?
My initial thought is that a woman chases after a guy for money out of need. Maybe she genuinely lacks the financial resources to take care of her basic needs or her family. Despite having real needs, it’s not okay for her to take advantage of him.
Laziness to work and greed are other potential reasons for the unscrupulous practice. Notwithstanding, I’ve seen educated, career women with their own money and assets target rich men. I call them next-level gold diggers.
That said, what is the driving force behind the hustle? According to WebMD, gold-digging is a “means to an end.” In short, they’re takers who bring little or nothing to the relationship.
Psychologists who analyzed the survey results of a survey noticed females, on average, were about twice as likely to associate money with generosity and love. On the other hand, men saw possessing a lot of cash or wealth as a sign of power, security, and freedom.
The interesting finding may help explain why some men don’t care if women are after their wealth. Just being able to provide her with what she wants gives these men validation. They feel powerful!
13 Signs She ONLY Wants Your Money
There’s usually no physical attraction or emotional attachment between gold diggers and their target. Some may boldly and unashamedly try to get all they can get from you. They’ll keep asking for money and expensive gifts, shopping sprees, and vacation trips.
Other gold diggers conduct a more covert operation. Those are the women who use subtle and sophisticated skills that hide their true intentions but are able to achieve the same outcome. The skills of their trade include sweet-talking, love bombing, seduction, and manipulation.
Don’t worry. You’ll avoid getting taken to the cleaners just by learning these tell-tale signs she’s only after your money.
#1. She asks financial questions in the early dating phase
Some women genuinely want to know if the man she wants to live her life with is financially independent. She at least wants him to be able to provide for a future family. Her curiosity fits into the culture of dating and marriage. Therefore, asking basic questions about your job or career plans seems perfectly fine.
Not with the gold-digging gal. She will try to assess your bank account and financial status straight outta the gate. Look out for sneaky questions intended to find out the following things: how much money you make and savings you have, if you own your own home, own stocks, or have life insurance.
If she’s a career gold digger, she’ll most certainly ask about family wealth and inheritance. Your answers help her to measure your financial worth and whether you’re worth dating.
#2. She’s financially needy
Financial dependence is a huge early red flag in relationships—and it makes sense. If a woman doesn’t have a job or some other legit source of income, she’ll try to get money somehow. You’ll become her income stream once she successfully manipulates her way into your pocket.
I get it. Some people go through financial hardships once in a while. However, this particular woman seems to always be going through a financial crisis (or so she claims).
Test her by asking what plans she has to fix her money issues. If she cannot outline a vision for her financial future, then that’s one of the clear signs she only wants your money.
#3. She has her own but wants yours too
Not because a woman wants to be lavished with gifts and money, it means she’s needy. I have to point out those women who are financially independent but want you to finance them anyway. Call it greed, if you will.
She’s the type of woman who has big dreams for your cash.
She wants you to help her upgrade from her 3-bedroom to a 10-bedroom mansion, a Rolls Royce, and whatever else. She’s got her career, savings, and assets, but with you, she can live larger. I kind of think of her as those women who play by the rule, “What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine.”
#4. She has an expensive taste
“What type of cheap gift is this? I don’t want that!” she says, then tosses your gift back at you. What type of person stoops that low? A gold digger for sure.
Number one, her attitude is disrespectful after you took the time to buy and bring her a gift. Number two, she’s ungrateful and has low self-esteem. She’s essentially measuring her worth by how much you spend on her. Introduce her to 7 Self-Esteem Apps to Give Your Confidence a Daily Boost. She may get mad, but you’re only trying to help her.
In her mind, you can’t have her unless you’re able to provide expensive material things such as brand-name shoes and apparel, fancy cars, and vacations.
This particular type of extortioner usually gives a sign she lacks empathy and consideration on the first date. She’ll pick out an expensive restaurant and order the priciest foods and drinks on the menu.
#5. She stays mad at you until you shower her with gifts
Pretending to be angry at you is another covert manipulative tactic of narcissistic gold diggers.
She read somewhere that certain men like to rush to the aid of damsels in distress. So she’ll pretend to be hurt, upset, stressed out, or going through a crisis. She’s doing this only to get you to feel sorry for her and ask what she needs to feel better.
If she says, I want to go shopping and ask you to Zelle her some money, that’s a huge red flag. There are many other ways for her to cope. But when it comes to gold diggers, the name of their coping strategy starts with a dollar sign–$PEND.
My friend’s wife is like this. He always has to appease her with expensive gifts or money to get back into her good graces.
#6. She expects an allowance
You’re not her parent, so why in the world would she expect you to funnel out cash to her on a routine basis. She may not ask for an allowance directly. Instead, she may talk you into it by laying out scenarios of ways you can provide monetary assistance.
Whether or not she has a job, this isn’t appropriate behavior when you’re only dating.
What’s going to happen if you marry her? Is she going to ask for your entire check? From the looks of it, she’s looking for ongoing financial support and isn’t really interested in you. If you marry her, she’ll view the marriage as a tool for advancing her financial goals. Money and assets.
#7. She frequently requests money via payment Apps
She’s someone who’s very easy to send money to. She has downloaded all the payment apps you can think of. Cash App, Zelle, Venmo, you name it, she has it. You found this out after offering to send her money. You later realize it was a mistake. Instead of waiting for you to voluntarily send cash, she’s now requesting it. Frequently!
The fact that she already has all of those apps says a lot. It makes you wonder why. Is it possible you’re just one of many men she’s asking for cash? Instead of getting a real job, she made a career out of requesting monetary assistance.
#8. She acts entitled to your wealth
A woman who’s a gold digger tends to think she doesn’t need to work. Why would she when she could get all she wants handed to her just because she’s beautiful and charming? Her fixed mindset aligns with what’s called a sense of entitlement.
Narcissists are types of people with an entitlement mentality. They believe they deserve special treatment or are owed favors “when little or nothing has been done to deserve such treatment.”
You’d be lucky if she says, ‘Thank you.” Self-entitled people are usually also ungrateful and that’s exactly the kind of attitude you’ll get from your gold-digger girlfriend. Besides, nothing you do for a self-entitled wealth-grabber is ever enough.
#9. Giving is one-sided
I’m not saying she has to give you back money or expensive gifts. Of course, you can afford to provide that for her out of love and affection or simply because you’re rich. Here’s my question of the day. Has she given you anything since the start of the relationship?
She can express her love and appreciation in so many ways. She can make your meals, run errands for you while you’re busy making that ‘dough’, or do whatever else to show she cares. Not her. Her days are spent spending your cash at the hair and nail salon and on shopping sprees.
#10. She’s obsessed with advancing her social status
Certain types of gold diggers have big dreams but no tangible ability to achieve them. They do have a tangible plot, and it is to use someone to achieve wealth or social status. Behavioral experts call them social climbers. If you have your eyes set on someone like this, it’s all about her getting up in society, not about you.
You’ll notice her ‘kissing’ up to the wealthy and those with high social standing in society. She’ll urge you to get front-row tickets to events in order to meet celebrities, politicians, and other high-status individuals.
To her, you’re just a means to an end. She’s using you to get introduced to people who align her with a specific job, career, corporation, or even Hollywood.
#11. She uses emotional manipulation to get what she wants
It seems as if gold diggers read the same manual on how to exploit men for money. The number one trick is to fake love and affection. Beware if the woman in your life acts extra sweet and caring when she wants something.
Once she obtains it, she switches to being distant, mean, and somewhat uncaring. She’s going to behave kind and submissive towards you once she’s ready for more of what she’s benefiting from.
What’s really occurring is emotional manipulation. By now, she must have learned your emotional weaknesses and is using them against you to get her way.
#12. She’s kind of out of your league
She’s young, beautiful, and sexy. She’s not the type of woman who takes a second look at you on a normal day.
Besides, you’ve always considered yourself to be an average-looking guy. Yet, somehow, she’s very into you. No offense here. Just pointing out one of the subtle signs that she’s potentially a gold digger.
I cannot be a gold digger. I have to be physically attracted to the guy and feel a spark. Chemistry and emotional connection are key. Not with women who chase after men only for money. They somehow have a knack for forming transactional relationships, devoid of emotional intimacy.
So, if you’re dating or married to a gold digger, I think you pretty much just have a business arrangement.
#13. When the money is gone, she leaves!
By definition, a gold digger comes only for wealth, money, and other benefits. That means she’s going to leave if your account dries up or you’re no longer associated with social circles that give her status, recognition, and fame.
She may not completely dump you. Instead, she’ll stick around when things are going well for you, and then leave when they’re not.
Getting kicked to the curb, for good, is the ultimate price you’ll pay for getting involved with a gold digger. Save yourself the betrayal and emotional pain of loving someone who does not give ‘two hoots’ about you.
Final Thoughts on Signs She Only Wants Your Money
Since you’re not one of those guys who ‘dig’ gold diggers (pun intended), then you’re leaving here equipped with critical information on how to tell them apart from genuine women.
You deserve better. After all, you’ve worked hard for what you have and it shouldn’t be given away blindly… and, sadly, love is sometimes blind.
Find yourself a good-intentioned woman who will love you for you and remain loyal, for richer or for poorer. On that note, take heed of the 17 Warning Signs You Are Being Used by Others.
And if you're looking for more resources on relationships, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- 3 Types of Men Who Have Affairs & How to Spot Them
- 7 Signs Someone Has Unhealthy Attachment Issues in a Relationship
- 9 Breadcrumbing Examples & How to Respond to Someone Doing It