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“I don’t believe in magic,” the young boy said. The old man smiled, “You will, when you see her.” ~ Atticus Poetry
In times past, women were considered to have a certain value or quality that made them desirable by a man’s standards. Either she was from a good family, had money, or was exceptionally beautiful, which made her valuable in the man’s world.
Now, fast-forward to the 21st century, and we’re starting to realize that as women, we also have value to ourselves, and even more important: society is realizing it too.
Being a high value woman is about more than money, power, or beauty today. It’s something that’s almost as elusive as trying to describe a dream.
Being a high value woman is about seeing yourself, valuing yourself, and embarking on the journey of life with determination to be the best self you can be.
There are a few traits and characteristics that most high value women share, but these certainly don’t define this status. However, cultivating them will set your feet in place so you can start your own journey upward.
Time to pack for your journey in understanding a high value lady and becoming one if you so choose.
What Is a High Value Woman?
Now, let’s try our best to define this almost dreamlike term: the high value woman. It’s never a term a quality lady would assign herself, and it doesn’t hold the same meaning if it comes from the lips of others (especially from men).
Instead, being a high value lady is about having progressed on your journey to selfhood to such an extent that you are comfortable in your own skin, know your flaws and embrace them (while also improving them), and you are admired by others because you admire your own process of becoming.
A high value lady is valuable to herself, and she stands back for nobody, not even herself.
She’s unbothered by social criteria of what a quality woman should be. Instead, she has her own set of mile markers and she focuses on those to measure her own progress in becoming the best version of herself.
Best of all, a high value lady doesn’t possess any toxic personality traits like jealousy, competitiveness, perfection, or selfishness. It’s because she’s devoid of these lesser qualities that a quality woman is so admired by others, who seek her out (in awe of her resolve).
Her dedication to her self-development and self-love are what make others notice her and instantly feel drawn to her. She’s a beacon of light in the dark of the world, inspiring others with how she navigates her journey.
Being a high value woman isn’t something others can decide for you (or identify you as being). Instead, it’s something you realize about yourself, increasing the way you value yourself.
What Makes Being a High Value Woman Desirable?
A high value lady is very attractive to men and also to other women (who admire the superior qualities of this woman). Her self-sufficiency, principles, and inspiration are most desirable to others.
Other qualities that make a high value lady so prized include:
- Her confidence
- Truthful behavior
- Dedication to her causes
- Kindness and empathy
- Her outspokenness (though her statements always have factual backing)
- Not overreacting when she’s corrected on something she’s done wrong
- Her help to those around her, lifting them up as she rises to greatness
How to Become a High Value Woman
Aiming to become a high value lady is a great goal to have in life, but there’s no external standard or checklist that guarantees you’ll succeed in your quest. Instead, it’s a journey that speaks to your heart and influences how you see yourself.
Remember that becoming a high value individual isn’t about the opinions of others, your looks, money, or intelligence. However, there are a few steps you can take to help steer you along on this journey.
- Discover and embrace what makes you unique
- Honor those around you who do well, while also having high regard for yourself
- Associate with people who help you up, not those who tear you down
- Know you are worthy of respect, and choose not to tolerate those who disrespect you
- Engage in challenging tasks to help you believe in your abilities with each success
- Remember you are so worthy of love, and it’s up to you to give yourself love, so you will know when others are taking it and not returning it
- Own your strength and know you don’t need to be with people to be happy
- Inspire others (and yourself)
- Practice cultivating a positive mindset
- Value respect in all spheres, including setting barriers, self-care, companionship, and careers
- Develop emotional maturity and empathy, which allows you to control yourself better
- Grow in your own integrity by ensuring what you say always aligns with what you do
- Reserve your energies for meaningful relationships that add value to your life
- Take care of your feminine energy (no matter how you identify in the sexual spectrum), learn about your wisdom, engage in self-care, and develop intuition
- Ask for help when you need it, and give it freely where you can
- Love yourself – always
- Learn to do for yourself (developing skills and knowledge) instead of waiting for others to do it
How to Find a High Value Woman
If you’re a man looking for a high value lady, there’s no specific place to seek her. A high value woman can be found in all walks of life, and it’s ultimately down to seeing how in touch with herself a woman is. When you find a high value lady, you’ll know it.
There can be no doubting her qualities, but the real question is whether you will get her attention and perhaps win her over.
Here are a few things to remember when looking to attract a high value woman:
- Show your strength and self-confidence
- Never brag or disrespect others
- Have excellent manners
- Treat her with respect and show your admiration by engaging with her in her interests
- Develop your own high value qualities (honor, strength, integrity, and empathy)
- Be your authentic self
- Don’t be scared to self-reflect and work on your self-development to become your best self
- Embrace balance and gratitude in life
15 Traits and Characteristics of a High Value Woman
Whether you want to become a high value lady or you are looking for one to love, care for, and support, here are the main traits and characteristics to help you:
1. Independence
A high value lady isn’t dependent on anyone. She is independent and fully self-sufficient. While she can and does rely on her inner circle, she also knows that “she’s got this.”
This woman follows her true north on her own journey in life, she is responsible for making her own decisions, and she doesn’t financially depend on her family, friends, or romantic partner. She’s her own person – through and through.
While you may think that a too independent person is a lone wolf who pushes people away, that isn’t true. Instead, a high value woman knows that her independence gives her freedom to live her life the way she wants to and she answers to herself.
She knows she can always stand on her own two feet, and she knows that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.
There’s power and freedom in choosing to ask for help.
2. Confident
This woman is confident, and it’s common for guys and other women to be intimidated by this or nervous when this high value individual is around. Some might also say she is overconfident, conceited, audacious, presumptuous, or arrogant but that’s not true.
A woman who is confident is self-assured and self-assertive. She is so comfortable in her own skin that her body language, tone of voice, how she speaks, and how she works a room all illustrate her confidence.
Since this high value lady knows who she is, she knows exactly what she is capable of. She owns her weaknesses and strengths.
While she can second-guess herself at times, she can navigate out of that self-doubt bubble with ease. Or, it’s something she keeps hidden, where others can’t see that she isn’t self-assured (except if they are in her inner circle).
And if she is feeling insecure, she works at it through self-awareness and growth.
3. A Healthy Self-Esteem and Knows She’s worthy
Of course, a woman with high value will know that she is worthy, right? Yes!
She has a healthy self-esteem, meaning she has a balanced and accurate view of herself.
She’s self-aware – seeing herself clearly in her own eyes (while knowing that’s a biased yet realistic and appreciative view) and also how others see her. This lady feels good about herself.
Since she knows her own worth, she isn’t dependent on external validation. After all, a queen knows not to value the opinions of sheep.
While a compliment from a lover, friend, family member, boss, and colleague is nice, she turns inward for validation. She validates her feelings and emotions without judgment. She celebrates her successes and learns from her mistakes.
4. Smart and Witty
A high value person must be intelligent and witty even. She’s someone you can have deep and meaningful conversations with and she’s also someone who can make you laugh.
This woman has a great sense of humor, and that is a sign of intelligence (according to science, so who are we to disagree?).
She knows when to zing someone, when to be sarcastic, and when to joke – without making the recipient feel bad about themselves. A punchline is always delivered at the right time and with the right tone.
You’ll be utterly charmed by this high value lady.
5. Values Growth
A high value woman knows that she isn’t perfect, and she’s more than okay with that. She accepts – completely – that she is imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect.
And she also knows that there is always room for improvement and personal growth to become the best version of herself that she can be.
With a growth mindset, this woman appreciates her comfort zone but also steps outside it to “progress to the next level.”
She wants to grow in all aspects of her life – spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, financially, interpersonally, and even physically.
She practices self-reflection and mindfulness, and she probably journals to work on her inner self. She learns new skills to discover who she truly is.
And she’s not putting in all this hard work for anyone but herself. She fully owns her self-discovery and development journey.
6. Is Responsible and Accountable
There’s something magical about a woman who just takes responsibility for her life, actions, and decisions and who’s accountable.
She owns up to her mistakes, is willing to apologize when necessary, and puts in the work to come to a solution or resolution – depending on which is needed.
She doesn’t just nitpick and fight because she can. She doesn’t shift blame or project onto others, instead seeing the situation for what it really is and taking accountability for her part in what went right or wrong.
7. Emotionally Intelligent
A high value lady is mature and emotionally intelligent. She understands the complex world of her emotions and those of others around her. As she’s in tune with what she feels, she can identify and acknowledge the feeling and deal with it in a healthy way.
There’s no over or under-reactions where you get the silent treatment or an explosion of rage because of something silly.
She acts in the moment, not reacts, which means that her emotions and feelings don’t control her. She is in control.
She isn’t moody and unpredictable. She creates a safe space for herself and others – a safe haven where they can be and feel without fear of being criticized and feeling like utter failures.
8. Values Boundaries
A person who creates, enforces, and values boundaries knows that not everyone should have an all-access pass to their life.
A high value lady knows that she needs to set healthy boundaries with herself and all those around her so she can look after her mental health and be the best version of herself.
She knows that saying no is a full sentence and that she doesn’t need to please and explain and justify her decisions, actions, and reasons with anyone.
She also values the boundaries that other people have in place, and she’ll even encourage them to decide what’s acceptable and what’s not so they can look out for themselves.
9. Doesn’t Conform to Tradition and Societal Norms
A high value lady doesn’t try to look like anyone but herself so it makes sense that she doesn’t conform to fit what’s traditional for a woman or any other societal norms. This woman doesn’t fit in a box and she doesn’t try to color in the lines.
She makes her own rules and lives by her truth. She doesn’t care to fit in with the crowd because she knows she belongs to and with herself – and that’s enough.
10. Empathetic
Having genuine empathy with people is quite something else, and a high value lady has this quality in spades.
She makes people feel heard, seen, and understood, and she listens to them with no judgment, criticism. There’s only patience, safety, and words of affirmation.
It feels like she intuitively understands where people are coming from and she can put herself in their shoes to relate to them. She also has the ability to say the right thing at the right time.
11. Motivated, Hard-Working, and Driven with a Purpose
A high value lady is someone who knows her purpose or ikigai in life. And no, she doesn’t think it’s something grand like being queen of her own island or running a multinational company.
Her purpose can be something as “insignificant” as being a happy stay-at-home mom, running a small urban fruit and veg farm, or making candles.
She’s an expert in setting goals, being motivated and driven, and putting in the hard work to achieve them.
Her drive comes from within and she values the personal satisfaction and sense of fulfillment from her dedication, conscientiousness, and achievements.
12. An Expert in More Than One Thing
This is a lady who’s got skills. And instead of being a “Jack of all traits, Master of none,” she’s a Master of Many.
She isn’t scared to try new things, take up a unique hobby, or step outside her comfort zone.
And whatever she does, she does with interest, curiosity, passion, and such dedication that you’d think she’d been at that hobby or activity for way longer. She comes across as a natural.
13. Completely Comfortable With Who She Is
Have you ever felt completely and utterly comfortable with yourself? Well, a woman of high value does. Maybe not all the time but certainly for the majority of it.
She knows who she is as a woman, where she fits in with her family, friends, and society, and who she is to her partner or lovers. She’s comfortable with being a sexual being and she isn’t shy to tell her romantic partner what she likes and how she likes it.
And if she doesn’t fall in the traditional sexual or gender spectrum, she knows that’s okay too. Being asexual, pan, or something else doesn’t take away from her value and the value she has to offer to those in her inner circle.
14. Persistent
With drive and motivation comes persistence if you want to get anywhere in life. And that’s exactly how a high value lady goes places.
She knows exactly how to balance dedication, passion, and patience, and these traits make her a value-add when it comes to romantic relationships, friendships, and colleagues.
15. Honest
Honesty is an essential aspect of any healthy and working relationship, and a high value person is honest. While they can be brutally honest at times, they also know how hurtful the truth can be so they are kind and thoughtful when they are honest with you.
There is no harm in telling a white lie or omitting the truth, and a woman of high value knows how to balance the honesty scales. With respect, kindness, and understanding, she speaks the truth and her truth.
And you don’t have to worry that she’ll try to play mind games, gaslight, or manipulate you. These things are beneath her because she’s a woman of integrity. Her word is her bond, and she wears that like a badge of honor.
Final Thoughts on a High Value Woman
Being a high value woman is about valuing yourself, seeing where you fit in (and where you don’t). Having respect for yourself and others helps you build integrity, and soon everyone looks up to you. And you inspire others, simply by being your authentic self.
Yet, you don’t become a high value woman by dwelling on the opinions of others. It’s a designation you assign yourself. You decide to become a high value woman, and you decide what that means to you.
It isn’t a box you create for yourself or one you try to fix into. You only need to meet your own approval to become a high value lady.
If you are a high value woman, you’re likely looking for a high value man who can meet your needs. Plus, a high value man-high value woman pairing makes for a healthy and interesting relationship where you are both equals in the romantic partnership.
And if you're looking for more articles about personal growth and self confidence, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- 21 Traits and Characteristics of a Highly Confident Woman
- 7 Ways to Overcome the “People are Better Than Me” Mentality
- 11 Steps to Stop Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick.
