11 Steps to Be More of a Sigma Male

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In a previous article titled, 17 Signs and Characteristics of a Sigma Male,” I turned the spotlight on sigma males and explained how to identify them by their behavioral traits. Prior to Vox Day coining the term, “sigma male,” a few years ago, masculinists promoted the alpha male.

The alpha was thought to be the most superior and most dominant male archetype. The rest of the pack were dismissed as inferior to their alpha rival and deserving of a spot beneath him in the male dominance hierarchy.

Fast forward to present day, sigma male is the one that's trending. Today's article brings you 11 tips on how to be a sigma male and a list of benefits that are in store. It also digs deeper into the sigma male's mindset to help you understand what it's like to be him.

What is a Sigma Male? 

The newly discovered ‘sigma male' is described as an improved version of the alpha male without a tribe. Yet, he isn't labeled an alpha male who is known for being loud and extroverted. The sigma guy is sort of shy and introverted yet dominant and powerful, intuitive, charming, confident, self-reliant, and independent.

The description aligns with masculinists' labeling of the sigma male as an introverted alpha male without a pack. He's your powerful and influential “lone wolf,” who somehow manages to succeed relying primarily on himself. 

Not surprisingly, many men are fascinated by the sigma male personality and aspire to be like him. For one, women find their characteristics and balanced persona alluring when compared to other male archetypes.

Archetypes and the male dominance hierarchy

Social archetypes, different from personality types, refer to a pattern seen in human characteristics that can be used to place them into social groups. The social dominance hierarchy for males (and females) dates back to the use of letters of the Greek alphabet by masculinist subcultures to rank males from the most to the least dominant.

Alpha males appear at the top of the social ranking system or socio-sexual hierarchy, followed by betagammadelta, then omega males at the very bottom.

Being placed at the top creates a perception that alphas are the most dominant and have more status, power, and success than the rest. That isn't necessarily the case, as sigma males are said to be even more successful.

Think billionaire and CEO of SpaceX, Elon Musk, who is believed to be a sigma male. It has been suggested that Musk has an INTJ personality type typically seen in sigma males.

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Sigma males are confident in their own skin and dance to the beat of their own drums. Exhibit the kind of self-confidence that aligns with healthy self-esteem and not arrogance.

Interestingly, “sigma” still does not appear on the masculinity pyramid. That's because this particular male type is regarded as an alpha equal, except that he is the solitary, reserved version. For argument's sake, Theodore Robert Beale, also known as, Vox Day, installed sigma male right below alpha.

However, according to Day, sigmas are in a league of their own, don't identify with labels, or want any connection to the pecking order. In other words, they are off the charts!

Sigma males vs other male archetypes

Here's a quick comparison that shows how different these male archetypes are from one another.

  • Alpha males have more of an aggressive type of dominance, although the characteristic contributes to their great leadership qualities.
  • Beta males are charismatic and motivated, yet too submissive and reliant on others to make decisions for them. Those latter traits make them appear weak.
  • Sigma males have quiet confidence, unlike the very sociable, I-am-here, “peacockish”, competitive alphas. They are highly desirable as dating partners for their positive assertiveness and other admirable characteristics.
  • Delta males rank third on the system and are defined as introverted, difficult to figure out, non-competitive, and resentful. Discover more about delta male traits if you think you're one.
  • Gamma males are seen as highly intellectual and driven but tend to work harder than sigmas and alphas to achieve the same level of success.
  • Omega males are branded as the least popular archetype, perhaps because of being socially shy and lacking assertiveness and dominance. Social commentators feel their honest, sweet, and loving nature compensates for those perceived shortcomings.

Benefits of Being a Sigma Male

Living a sigma male lifestyle does come with perks men with traits found in other archetypes may not enjoy. For starters, they can survive on their own, hence the “lone wolf” label. It isn't that they don't need anyone. They feel more confident getting things done without feeling obligated to rely on others. Wait. There's more.

  • A leader not a follower: Sigma males are known for directing their own paths and not conforming to society's views of things. Jumping on the bandwagon isn't their thing. Instead, they make their own rules for life and live by them, thereby creating a world of more freedom to think and do what they desire.
  • Decisive: Sigma males typically know what they want right out the gate and are assertive about their plans. The chance of procrastination decreases and success increases because of their mindset. You're not likely to see them calling up friends and loved ones to get their opinions when making decisions.
  • Solitary: Not only are they good-looking and attractive, but are described as easy-going. Instead of focusing on being seen and heard or exerting dominance or control like alpha males, they relish their solitude. That's where the magic happens. They can focus on their goals and brainstorm creative paths to success.
  • Intriguing to women: Rumors have it that women are enamored with the lone wolf because he isn't aggressive and controlling like the alpha male. The air of mystery surrounding him is also quite alluring.

11 Steps for Becoming a Sigma Male

Having unique traits doesn't make one male archetype better than the others. It's just that, as a whole, sigmas exhibit positive peculiar qualities that set them apart from the rest.

Knowing the 17 common characteristics of sigma males is a good starting point to familiarize yourself with their personality. Combining what you know so far with the following tips on how to be a sigma male will give you a wider understanding of what's expected of you.

Step #1. Be Yourself

First and foremost, present the true you to the world and not a persona you think people will like. Sigma males are confident in their own skin and dance to the beat of their own drums. Exhibit the kind of self-confidence that aligns with healthy self-esteem and not arrogance.

Day in and day out, show up as your true self regardless of who's watching. Onlookers are going to be drawn to the attribute that makes you come across as authentic and sincere.

Step #2. Live by your own rules

Transforming yourself into an alpha male 2.0 means not affiliating with tribal behavior or clamoring to fit into the status quo. Choose to live your life without confining yourself to the social dominance system. Decide what's best for you and determine the social and moral rules that work for you.

Living to please yourself versus how others think you should go about life is key to living happily and satisfied. You may lose people from your social circles by taking this stance, but as a true sigma male, you'll have no problem walking the path alone or being happy without friends.

Step #3. Let go of arrogance

Alpha males, in particular, are considered arrogant and even borderline narcissistic. You don't need to act as if you know it all. Like the sigma male, be okay with saying you don't know or that you're willing to learn.

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Self-reliance is the ability to rely on one's self to make decisions and do things without help from others.

Allow people in your social circle to demonstrate knowledge and intelligence without feeling the need to imply they know less than you. That's showing humility and character. Women are naturally attracted to strong, confident men. On the other hand, arrogance is a major turn-off.

Step #4. Lead without being bossy

Alpha men are said to be powerful leaders but are frowned upon for being overly authoritative. Not surprising, since an excessive need for authority aligns with their trait of dominance and control. You can be a strong, silent but respected leader without needing to remind your employees or team members that you are the boss or know everything.

Your humility and balanced approach to leadership may motivate them to perform. At the same time, there's no need to appear lacking in confidence like beta males, so others might think you're a laid-back leader.

Step #5. Be flexible and adaptable

On one hand, beta and omega males lack assertiveness. On the other hand, alphas are too rigid, demanding, and overbearing. Striking a balance between firmness and flexibility can transform you into an admirable chap. Flexibility enables you to adapt to different or changing circumstances.

You're better able to perform as a team player since you're able to embrace the unique traits of team members and remain comfortable allowing others to take the lead. Incidentally, flexibility is touted as a positive characteristic of a good leader.

Step #6. Practice empathic listening

A key trait that sets sigma males apart from the hierarchical gang is their ability to listen—with empathy. People feel seen, heard, and validated when others listen. Don't be like the self-absorbed, attention-grabber alpha male during a conversation. Be attentive by practicing active listening when in conversation with your partner or others.

That shows you're interested in what's being said. Listening with empathy in your close relationships conveys that you care about what the person is going through or feeling at the time.

Step #7. Sharpen your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is described as the ability to be aware of and control what you think, feel, say, and do. You're able to self-regulate and empathize with others, including those who are unkind to you, instead of lashing out in anger.

Self-awareness enables you to skillfully interact and deal with conflict in your personal and professional life. By increasing emotional intelligence, you can manage and cope with stress in ways that do not make things worse.

Step #8. Develop self-reliance

Self-reliance is the ability to rely on one's self to make decisions and do things without help from others. Having this quality, in addition to being independent, can impact your success in a positive way.

You'll believe in yourself in a much bigger way and are less likely to feel depressed when others don't help. While external validation offers motivation, you'll be able to self-validate and boost your own self-confidence.

A sigma male is also not the clingy type and neither does he rely on his partner to meet all his needs. Women like strong, confident, self-reliant men and will quickly regard you as weak if you can't keep yourself together.

Step #9. See solitude as a positive

A core trait of sigma males is their strong desire for solitude. It isn't that they are antisocial or weird for wanting to be alone every chance they could. While they can tolerate people, solitude is a source of internal energy and mental stimulation for them. They thrive on it.

Spending time alone away from the noise and opinions of the world will give you a chance to focus on building a successful personal and professional life the sigma male way. The fact that you aren't always accessible adds an air of mystery around you. For some odd reason, women find elusive men intriguing.

Step #10. Ditch competitiveness

An excessive need to compete with others, as seen a lot with alpha males, is a sign of a lack of self-confidence. There's a deep-rooted craving for winning or being right. If you don't, you feel disheveled and unworthy since competing and winning serve as validation. Step out of that mindset and realize that you don't need to compete to shine or feel worthy.

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Identifying with sigma males involves a willingness to embrace and respect the decisions of others and not behave superiorly towards them.

Resist boasting about or comparing your knowledge, talents, and achievements with others. That's more alpha male-ish and it makes people think you're a jerk. The strong silent sigma archetype usually competes against himself whenever he needs a challenge or wants to maximize his success.

Step #11. Treat others respectfully

Regarding people with respect comes naturally when you're emotionally intelligent and empathetic. Even though, as a sigma, you've rejected the idea of being pinned down to a social construct, you can still respect those who accept the labels. If another guy aligns himself with beta, alpha, or delta males, be respectful of his choice.

Identifying with sigma males involves a willingness to embrace and respect the decisions of others and not behave superiorly towards them. In fact, treating people respectfully applies across the board regardless of their age, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, social or economic status, or ethnicity.

Final thoughts on how to be a sigma male

I'm sure you're eager to unleash that inner sigma inside of you, but are curious as to how to adopt the sigma male persona. Fortunately, humans are able to change or improve their personality traits by developing new neural pathways in the brain. Psychologists call it shifting your mindset.

In this case, the process entails practicing the traits of a sigma male daily for them to become habitual or second nature. In time, your behaviors will begin aligning with those seen in sigma males. For more inspiration while on your transformation journey, check out 13 Famous Sigma Males Throughout History.

Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick.

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