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When you hear about masculinity in the media today, it often focuses on “toxic masculinity“. This type of masculinity seems to be the idea that for men to be masculine, they have to be tough, unemotional, and overly dominant.
While toxic masculinity is a concern, true normal masculine energy is very enticing to women. It's the energy of drive, ambition, and vision. It is focused, passionate and unwavering in its pursuit of goals. And yes, it is quite sexy.
Masculinity is simply a trait that is found on a spectrum, with varying degrees of each quality. Just like any other trait, it is something that can be developed and some men may possess more of it than others.
With the discussions and concern over toxic masculinity, today's average man may be concerned about expressing his natural masculine traits for fear of being labeled “toxic”. But, there is a way to express masculinity attractively and healthily. Trust me, a man that is confident in his masculinity is very appealing to women.
What Is Masculine Energy?
Masculine energy is the energy of assertion, courage and action. It is the energy that moves us forward in life, helps us to take risks and achieve our goals. It is the energy of competition and winning.
Protecting and providing for others is also a part of masculine energy. A man that can provide safety and security for a woman is very attractive.
When you see a man dripping with masculine energy, he is a man who can walk into a situation and take charge. He is a leader, not a follower. He is confident and knows what he wants. This type of man is decisive and has no problem making decisions.
He is clear about his values and knows how to stand up for himself and what he believes in. He is someone that is focused more on getting and giving deserved respect as opposed to worrying about everyone “liking” him.
What Do Women Really Want?
While some men may get confused about what women want when we say we want a “sensitive man”, we don't mean that we want a man who cries at every little thing or is scared of conflict. We don't want someone who makes us feel like we have to step up and be the protector all the time.
What we really want is a man who is in touch with his emotions and can express them in a healthy way. We want a man who is confident enough to be vulnerable with us and share his true feelings.
Women want a man who is comfortable being emotionally intimate and will protect us emotionally. By that I mean, do you care when I cry or am sad? Do you listen to me when I need to talk?
If someone hurt my feelings, would you laugh along with them or step up as a man and let that person know to never do that again? In other words, you can easily show your sensitivity as a man without losing your masculine traits.
As mentioned before, the confident masculine energy of a man is a natural balance to the feminine energy of a woman. A man can be the strong provider, protector, lover, and friend that we need, while still being emotionally present and aware.
Your physical strength should feel like a tool to protect us and make us feel safe, not a weapon that could be used against us.
With that said, men should understand that your masculine energy is just as attractive to us as our feminine energy is to you. There is a time and place for both. When you can find the balance between the two that is when the magic happens.
Now let's look at some ways that masculine energy can allow you to effortlessly show confidence.
11 Masculine Energy Traits to Show Powerful Confidence
1. Be Decisive
Being decisive will not only make you more confident, but it will also make you more attractive to women. It will also earn the respect of those around you. If you are the type of person that dithers over every little decision, people will start to see you as weak and indecisive.
One way to be more decisive is to make decisions based on your values and what you believe in, rather than what other people think or what is popular. This will help you to be more confident in your decisions and stand by them even when others may not agree with you.
If you tend to second-guess yourself or overthink things, it's time to start making decisions with confidence. Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect decision. The key is to make a decision and then take responsibility for the outcome, good or bad. This leads into our next trait.
2. Own Your Mistakes
No one of either gender is perfect. However, when a man owns his mistakes, it shows that he is strong enough to admit when he's wrong.
A lot of men have a hard time admitting when they're wrong because they think it makes them look weak or they want to appear right all the time.
Wars have been fought or gone on longer than they should have because of leaders who couldn't admit when they were wrong. The Vietnam War is one example.
In relationships, a man that can take responsibility for his actions and admit when he's wrong will be more respected by his partner. It will also create a more trusting and intimate relationship.
Owning your mistakes shows humility and the ability to self-correct. Showing this trait will make you a strong and trusted leader in the eyes of anyone around you.
3. Set Boundaries
A man who knows how to set boundaries is a man who knows his own worth and he is not afraid to stand up for himself.
If you tend to have a harder time saying “no” or setting boundaries, it's time to start practicing. This is an important skill to have in all areas of your life, whether it's with your family, friends, or co-workers. Otherwise, people will walk all over you and take advantage of your good nature.
Learning to set boundaries is not about being mean or rude to people, it's about taking care of yourself and respecting yourself enough to not allow others to treat you in a way that you don't deserve. Setting boundaries with the outside world will also help keep your home and family safe.
4. Be Assertive
Being assertive means being able to speak up for yourself and what you believe in without being aggressive. It's the ability to express your needs and wants in a way that is respectful of others.
Some men may have a hard time being assertive because they don't want to cause conflict. However, if you don't speak up for yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. This can lead to resentment and feeling like you're not being heard or valued.
Practicing assertiveness will help you to be more confident in yourself and your ability to communicate with others. It's also an important skill to have in relationships and in the workplace.
5. Be a Good Listener
Listening is an important skill for anyone, but it's especially important for men. This is because women tend to communicate more than men and they want to feel heard and understood.
If you are not a good listener, it can be hard to understand what your partner, children, or co-worker is saying. This can lead to arguments and misunderstandings.
Listening also shows that you are interested in what the other person has to say and that you value their opinion. It's a sign of respect to anyone around you. Knowing when to listen and not verbally dominate all the time will make you more likable and successful in any area of your life.
If it is hard to do this at first, just start by letting someone finish a sentence before speaking. Then ask some questions related to what they just said to make sure you understand. It will take some practice, but eventually, it will become second nature.
6. Practice Emotional intelligence
One of the most important traits for any human being is emotional intelligence. This is the ability to be aware and understand your own emotions and the emotions of others.
If a man gets too emotional, it can wreak havoc in combination with his physical strength. Sure, a woman may yell or cry, but if a man can't keep his emotions in check or grasp what others are feeling, it can lead to disastrous outcomes.
An emotionally intelligent man knows how to control his emotions and stay calm in difficult situations. True military leaders or anyone in a position of authority must have this trait.
The 1995 bestseller “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman is for anyone who wants more insight into the power of stepping outside of themselves to understand and work with the emotions of others.
7. Be Protective
Another trait of masculine energy is the desire to protect those who are weaker or vulnerable. This includes not only physical protection but also emotional and mental protection. It's the instinct to want to keep those you care about safe from harm in any form
This trait is often seen in fathers and husbands who want to provide for and protect their families. It's seen in the big brother who makes sure no boys are picking on his little sibling. But it doesn't have to be something that is only seen in these traditional roles.
Any man can be protective by being there for someone when they need it and offering help and support. You can look out for elderly neighbors by making sure they don't have to shovel their driveways or carry in their groceries. You may see a stranger being harassed and step in to diffuse the situation. There are endless ways that you can be protective.
The most important thing is that you are aware of this trait within yourself and use it in a way that is positive and helpful to others.
8. Give Direction
When it comes to leadership, men are often seen as natural born leaders. This is because they often have the trait of wanting to provide direction. They want to be the ones in charge and make the decisions.
This is not to say that women can't be leaders. But it is a trait that is more commonly seen in men. If you have this trait, you may find yourself wanting to take charge in any situation. You may feel the need to be the one who is giving orders and telling people what to do.
This is not a bad thing. In fact, this trait can be very helpful in many situations. But it's important to be aware of it and to use it in a way that is helpful and not bossy or overbearing.
9. Own Who You Are
One of the most important things for any man is to own who he is as a person. Sure, it may be natural to aim to be the captain of the high school football team, 6-feet tall, rich, possess rippling muscles and a full head of hair. But the reality is that not every man is built like that.
And that's okay. No really- it is.
Case in point, the actor from Game of Thrones, Peter Dinklage. He is one of the most popular and well-known actors on TV right now and he just so happens to be a little person.
He has owned who he is and has used it to his advantage instead of letting it hold him back. Regardless of his height, his masculine energy and confidence is off the charts in just about any role he plays – especially as King Tyrion.
The same can be true for you. You may not have the ideal body type or the perfect job. But you can own who you are and use it to your advantage. You may be the nerd who everyone makes fun of now, but you use your intelligence to get ahead – hello Silicon Valley millionaires! You may be a short guy, but you use your quick wit and charm to make everyone love you.
10. Be Happy For Others
Jealousy in either gender is not a positive trait, but it can particularly be a turn-off when seen in men. That's not to say that men can't feel jealous. But they need to be able to control it and not let it take over their soul.
One of the most masculine things a man can do is to be happy and supportive of others when they succeed. This includes not only the people close to him but also strangers.
You may see a friend get a big promotion and, instead of feeling jealous, think about the work it took for such an accomplishment.
Chris Gardner, who wrote the book, “The Pursuit of Happyness”, did not get jealous of men around him who had cars and money when he was a homeless stockbroker and single parent.
He used that as motivation to learn from those men, grow in his field, and ended up owning his own firm and becoming a millionaire.
Jealousy is a negative emotion and it does not make you feel good. So, instead of letting it take over, focus on how someone may have achieved what they did and learn from them.
11. Provide What You Can
Men are providers by nature. Even back in the cavemen's days, men went out and hunted for food while women stayed home and took care of the children.
This is not to say that women can't provide or that they are not capable of hunting, but it is usually expected of men.
Providing as a man does not always mean bringing home the bacon, so to speak. It can also mean providing emotional support or mentoring someone. It can mean providing your time.
A man who is cash-poor can still provide the necessities for his family by bartering goods and services or learning a new skill. He can also provide his time and energy to make sure things are taken care of around the house, with the kids, and his overall community.
Providing does not always mean money. It can also mean love, attention, and time.
Final Thoughts about Masculine Energy Traits
Being a man in modern society can be confusing. There are so many mixed messages about what it means to “be a man”, that it's no wonder men feel lost and uncertain. One day you're told to “suck it up and be a man”… and the next you're encouraged to express your emotions. It's enough to make your head spin.
The reality is that there are a lot of qualities that make up masculine energy – some of which are traditionally considered “feminine”. The key is to find a balance between the two.
And that's something that anyone – man or woman – can learn to do. So enjoy being a man and own your masculinity, but don't be afraid to show that gentle side from time to time. Now it is time to get some female insight and read 17 Tactics to Give off More Feminine Energy.