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I recently went to coffee with a good friend of mine. She is a mother of four and holds a demanding full-time job. Her husband is wonderful and always helps out with the kids and the running of the household.
She seemed distressed on our coffee date and kept telling me she wasn't doing enough for the family. I was pretty shocked by this because, as far as I was concerned, she was doing a fabulous job as a wife, mother, and hard-working career woman.
That's when I realized she couldn't see the obvious signs that she was family oriented. Do you know anyone who thinks they aren't doing enough, or are you perhaps wondering if you're family-oriented? It may be time you slowed down and looked at the signs.
I have put together the following 7 obvious signs that you're a family-oriented person to help you realize how amazing you truly are.
But before we dive into the signs, let's look at what it actually means to be family centered.
What Does It Mean to Be Family-Oriented?
There's no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be family oriented, as everyone has a unique outlook on family life. This can be due to religious or social reasons. At their core, a typical family-oriented person makes time for their family, no matter how demanding their life or work situation may be.
The world can be falling apart around them, but they still focus on their family's happiness and well-being. A family-oriented person draws strength from seeing their family thrive.
This is a person who takes the whole family's opinions and reactions into consideration when making big decisions, such as accepting a job in another town.
They'll first bring the family together and openly discuss how everyone feels. A family-oriented person won't make big decisions without the family's approval. Being family inclined is a conscious choice, and their family is their life.
Why Is It Beneficial to Be Family Oriented?
In a world hiding behind photo filters and social media, it can be a wonderful release to just be yourself with the people who will always be there for you: Your family. Being a family-oriented person inspires and motivates you to be the best possible person you can be for your family (and yourself.)
This conscious decision will impact your life professionally, emotionally, and spiritually. It'll bring you and your family happiness and strengthen your bond. In return, your family will love and support you right back.
Adopting this mindset teaches you to put others first and not always rush for instant rewards for yourself. Being family motivated also teaches you to respect commitment and loyalty. Spending time with the people you love helps reduce some of the stress and anxiety from your busy day.
Why Are Some People Not Family Oriented?
Not everyone is family oriented, and that's okay. Being family motivated is a conscious decision you make, and some people don't feel the need to fill that role, but they still help out the family in other ways, such as financially.
However, that being said, some people weren't brought up with the same values as a family-oriented person. In some households, the situation might have been toxic, and they wanted to distance themselves from the family.
As a result, they don't know how to be more family centered for their family unit as an adult. Unfortunately, there are many things to deal with in the modern world, such as sickness, finances, pressure from work, failed marriages, and keeping the house clean.
Being a family-oriented person on top of all of this might just be too much for a person to deal with as they aren't happy within themselves. This is why self-care is so essential if you want to be a more family-oriented person.
7 Signs You Are a Family-Oriented Person
Let’s check out these 7 obvious signs that you’re a family-oriented person:
1. You Practice Mindful (and Active) Listening
One of the vital characteristics of a family-orientated person is being a mindful (and active) listener. When your family talks to you, you give them your undivided attention. You don’t dismiss their feelings or interrupt them.
By practicing mindful listening, you’re able to connect with your loved ones on a different level, and you’re also providing them with a good example to live by. What your family says to you matters, and they know that you’ll really listen to them when they talk to you.
As a family-oriented person, you make eye contact and show them you’re interested in what they say. You are also mindful that there is a time to talk and a time to listen.
Practicing mindful listening brings your family closer together, and this is a priority for you.
2. You Respect and Love Your Family
Family-oriented people have the utmost respect and love for their families, which shows. This is one of those signs you can't deny when you find yourself in the presence of a family-motivated individual.
When one of your family members accomplishes something (no matter how big or small), you'll be glowing with pride (like that achievement is yours). You love them, and you want to see them realize their dreams. Above all, you respect the work they put in to get this far, and that counts.
You also respect your family and their values; even if some of their views differ, you'll still take the time to understand their point of view. Respect is so essential for building good, strong relationships with one another.
Without love and respect, a family will fall apart at the seams, and there will be very little trust between family members. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words.
3. You Practice Self-Care
Okay, so this might sound odd. A family-oriented person should be focused on the family like all the time, right? No, not exactly. Actually, they know that to provide their family with the best version of themselves, they also need to be happy and relaxed.
In other words, a clear sign that you're a family-oriented person is if you practice self-care. You give a lot to your family, but you also understand the importance of taking time to work on yourself.
How can you expect to be there for your family if you're burnt out and overstressed? Exactly. Self-care looks different to everyone. Some enjoy hitting the spa, playing golf, sitting down with a good book, or going out on a relaxing date with their partner.
When your family sees you looking relaxed and happy, it'll make them happy too. Taking care of your own needs will help you take better care of your family.
4. You’re Fully Engaged with Your Children
There's nothing worse than watching children hover around their parents, trying anything to get their attention away from their phones. Sadly, most of us are guilty of spending too much time on our phones or tablets.
It doesn't matter if you're scrolling through work emails or watching the latest Instagram reel. Phones can distract us from the real (and important) things in our lives. A family-oriented person will ensure that their phone is out of sight and they fully engage with their children (for at least a couple of hours a day).
The emails and reels can wait an hour or two. If you've been at work all day, your kids want to spend uninterrupted time with you. By putting your phone away, you're giving your children your full and undivided attention, which won't go unnoticed or unappreciated.
5. You’re There for the Small Moments
Congratulations, you've been to all the graduation and award ceremonies. You've driven your kids to their first prom, and were there to congratulate your partner when they received a promotion.
But what about the small moments? The moments that don't receive rounds of applause or public recognition? You'll be around for those small moments if you're family centered.
Your family knows they can count on you to notice the little wins, like learning to ride a bicycle or tying shoelaces correctly. “Small” moments are those where you compliment your partner on their new haircut or how they've rearranged the furniture.
Being there for the small moments gives your family a sense of pride, safety, trust, and confidence. It also helps you focus on the positive things in life and relieves the stress and anxiety from a hard day at work.
6. You Set Aside Time for Your Family
Balancing a full-time work schedule, family, and social life can be overwhelming for anyone. But a family-oriented person makes it a priority to set aside time for their family. It may sound weird that you have to pencil in time to spend with family, but this is because life is a rat race.
Most people have to walk around with daily planners and reminders set on their phones to complete specific tasks. Working your family into your schedule clearly shows how much you love and value your time with them.
Life can get busy very quickly, and you mustn't leave your family behind. Set a time to hang out doing something you all enjoy, and hold yourself accountable for sticking to those “dates.”
This will also encourage your family members to be more family inclined themselves.
7. You’re Emotionally Available
It's easy to be physically present for your family but mentally absent. Sitting in a room with your family but being miles away, lost in your thoughts, is not a sign of a family-oriented person. If you're family centered, you won't be afraid to deal with emotional issues.
Your family will feel safe to come to you with any problems they may be experiencing. When you're emotionally available, you build and sustain emotional bonds within your family circle.
You'll also be able to offer advice freely, but only after thinking about the situation first. This is one of the most important characteristics of a family-oriented person. A family that has a break-down in communication or feels uneasy talking to another about emotional and personal situations is not a good sign.
Families thrive on emotional connection and understanding.
5 Steps to Become a More Family-Oriented Person
If you feel like you aren't there for your family as much as you'd like to be, then check out these 5 easy steps on how to become a more family-oriented person:
1. Ensure your family feels appreciated and loved. A simple phone call or check-in message is enough to make their day.
2. Brush up on your listening and speaking skills. You want your family to be able to approach you about anything.
3. Do little things for your family, like taking out the garbage or doing the dishes. Even a genuine hug can bring you all closer together.
4. Your word is your bond. If you said you'd be there, make sure you're there. Constantly letting your family down shows them you're unreliable and don't care about the important things.
5. Be genuine when you spend time with your family or have conversations. People can pick up immediately if someone is just doing something because they have to. Being family oriented means your actions are genuine and come from a place of love and admiration for your family.
Final Thoughts on Being Family Oriented
With so many pressures, distractions, and temptations in the modern world, it's pretty easy to lose sight of what's important in your life: Your family. Coming home and disconnecting from the world by scrolling through social media and watching the latest TikTok may seem less stressful, but in the long run, you're missing out on quality family time.
Being a family-oriented person is not always smooth sailing, as it can put a lot of pressure on you to be positive. But we are all human, and family oriented people also have their down days.
That's when your family will be there for you as you've been there for them. If you enjoyed this article and want to incorporate positivity into your family, why not check out my guide on 83 positive family affirmations to grow strong together? If you've tried to be more family centered and are struggling with toxic family members, our guide on 45 toxic family quotes will help you heal and let go of your pain.
