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I believe that most of us have negative people in our lives, and you've probably experienced that as well. Sadly, the fact is that if you're on a path to success… you're going to encounter critics, haters, and naysayers along the way.
In this article, I'm going to show you how to effectively deal with difficult individuals. Moreover, the tips we share will allow you to continue standing tall with your positive attitude intact.
What Is a Hater?
Before you can understand how to deal with haters, it's important to understand exactly what a hater is. A hater is a person who has difficulty finding happiness in the success of other people. Additionally, haters may even be gleeful when a successful person makes a mistake or stumbles. Haters are generally more concerned about downplaying or criticizing other people than focusing on their own success.
On paper, it seems that being a hater is painful and robs people of their joy. So if being a hater is unpleasant, why do people become haters? Well, there are a few common reasons that some people turn out this way. They include:
One of the “textbook” actions haters take on others is to launch envy attacks. Envy attacks can consist of any of the following:
Envy has its roots in low self-esteem, and in many cases, a hater can't even help being the way they are. While we can feel empathy for these individuals, the fact remains that we can't allow them to rob us of our joy and our motivation.
Whether they're launched online or at work, envy attacks can slow down your progress and growth if you allow them to get to you. The best thing you can do is learn how to deal with haters in a way that effectively shuts them down.
11 Ways to Deal with Haters and Jealous People in Your Life
High-achievers know how to handle haters and jealous people. Following some best practices, such as the tips below, can make it easier for you to glide past these individuals.
1. Consider removing the haters from your life.
While we may have haters we're stuck with (either permanently or temporarily), some haters can simply be removed from your life. If you've ever blocked someone on social media, you may have been surprised at how little you missed the person.
Most of us have had that one high school friend who grew up to be a really unpleasant person. The fact is, if you met that person now as the person you are today, you might not even choose to associate with them at all.
When we're young adults, we make friends based on a shared interest in the activities we're involved in. Sometimes, we're even thrown together with other young people because of family relationships.
Ask yourself this question: Does this person fit into the life I have now? If the answer is no, don't feel obligated to keep them around. Believe it or not, they probably won't miss you any more than you'll miss them.
2. Try to empathize with haters.
If you're dealing with a hater in your family or work life, you may not be able to remove these people from your world. However, finding empathy in dealing with them can help both you and them.
Remember that most haters or jealous people are insecure, and these individuals are in pain in many cases. You've probably done nothing to harm them, but chances are someone has at some point in the past.
You've probably seen the quote, “Be kind because everyone you know is fighting a hidden battle.” That quote seems cliché because it's completely true. When you stop to understand why your haters may be reacting as they are to you, it's easier to forgive them and not take it personally.
If the hater is someone you can't easily eliminate from your life, try to show them some empathy. You can sit down with them and directly address the issue, or you can just be kind to them regardless of how they treat you.
3. Disarm haters with kindness and positivity.
Here is something that may surprise you. A hater may not realize that they're a hater. Remember that haters constantly feel a lot of negative emotions, and their insecurity is at the root of this.
When you respond to a hater with kindness and positivity, it can disarm them. Have you ever heard the phrase “Kill them with kindness”? When you respond to negativity with a positive attitude, the result can sometimes be a bit magical.
A hater may not experience much kindness or positivity because they don't usually put a lot of good vibes out into the world. The majority of the people they launch envy attacks against will respond to them in ways that are hostile or angry.
If you're the person who disarms a hater, it's not just good for you. It can also have a positive impact on a hater's life. In short, be the bigger person.
Here are some things you can do to disarm haters with positivity.
4. Remind yourself that the only person you can change (and control) is yourself.
Have you ever tried unsuccessfully to change something about yourself? We can change, but change is difficult, and sometimes you have to try more than once to get it right.
If it's this challenging to change yourself, can you imagine how difficult (or impossible) it is to change other people?
When people are jealous of you, it's because you're doing something they wish they could do themselves. We are seldom jealous of people who don't impress us. So take it as a compliment if you can when someone is jealous of you.
We have no control over other people. However, we do have control over what we say and do. As needed, simply remind yourself that you can't change another person. All you can do is put your best out there and hope that it lands on someone who is receptive to it.
5. Get used to it and make yourself tougher.
Here is a somewhat disheartening fact: Haters and jealous people are always going to find you if you're a successful person. If you can become more comfortable with jealousy and envy from other people, you'll be less impacted when you encounter haters as you go about your business.
Jealousy is a natural emotion, and it can even be used as fuel to further our own ambitions and goals. Take a look at the people who make you feel jealous. What can you do to be more like them?
Understanding your own jealousy of others can help you better understand people who are jealous of you. Most people who are jealous of you want one of three things.
- They want what you have. -or
- They want to be like you.
- They want you to fail so that they can feel better about themselves.
If you're successful, you're going to encounter envy and jealousy constantly. It's best if you can get used to it and develop some strategies for dealing with it.
6. Use your haters as fuel.
“Our haters are our motivators.” Have you ever seen successful people say this or some version of it? It can be rewarding to prove the naysayers wrong as long as you're doing it in a positive way.
It's not just successful people who are the victims of haters. In some cases, you may be trying to improve your life and find yourself constantly being dragged down by people who don't want to see you soar.
When this happens, these people feel fear and insecurity. Jealousy is just the emotion that's living on the surface. At their core, haters and jealous people are afraid that you'll outgrow them and leave them behind.
If you're experiencing this from the people in your life, you have two choices.
- Bring the naysayers along with you on your journey to success. You can do this by being a positive influence in their lives.
- Leave them behind if they can't grow.
What isn't an option is abandoning your own growth to accommodate the haters. If there are people who are genuinely cheering for your failure, use this to propel yourself to even greater success. Proving haters wrong has its own rewards.
7. Start a conversation with the haters.
Most online haters or trolls are trying to provoke a negative reaction. Giving them the exact opposite of that can disarm them and may even provoke a positive and life-changing interaction.
The reason this is effective is that it makes the hater feel heard. Remember that haters are insecure at their core. Essentially, they feel helpless in many ways. So when you acknowledge them and toss something positive their way, it can defuse the anger that comes as a result of their insecurity.
This can work in real-life situations, too. If a workplace hater tosses a sarcastic joke, you can try responding with a more positive joke.
Another approach is to thank the hater. If someone says something negative about you, you can always respond with “Thank you for the feedback. I'll use this to improve myself.” They won't be expecting that, and it may lead to a more extensive conversation.
8. Be grateful instead of reactional.
When you're doing big things in your life, the naysayers and haters are always going to find you. Remind yourself that haters are approaching you because you're successful.
It's rare for unsuccessful people to have haters. When you receive hate from others, acknowledge to yourself that this is a response to the things you're doing well in life.
Practicing gratitude can really help you with dealing with haters. Just turn the hate and negativity around by being grateful for the success you've found and your ability to work hard towards your goals.
9. Check in with your feelings and your actions.
The fact that you're reading this article indicates that you're bothered by the haters and jealous people you've encountered. Being bothered is an uncomfortable feeling. Have you checked in with yourself to make sure you're OK?
If you're feeling uncomfortable, practice self-love and remind yourself that you're following your own journey, not anyone else's.
One thing to keep in mind is that if everyone you know adores you, you probably aren't challenging yourself enough. Take heart in knowing that people hate on you because you're changing and growing.
Taking a few minutes or hours to love yourself can make all the difference in your emotional health.
10. Learn from the haters.
There are times when haters say things that have a grain of truth. Keep in mind that you're not perfect, and the haters will examine you deeply to find things wrong with you. This can be very powerful because haters will definitely notice our imperfections.
Too often, the people who love us don't want to give us honest feedback because they don't want to cause us pain. You don't have to worry about that with the haters. They're never going to worry about hurting you.
If you want to grow, take a look at what haters say about you. Is there any truth in what they're saying that can help you improve?
11. Block online haters and trolls.
Have you ever experienced being attacked by someone online who you don't even know personally? Thanks to social media, our circles have grown, and that's not necessarily always a good thing.
Often, these online haters are hiding behind anonymous profiles, so why should we allow them to affect even one moment of a single day? Even if they're interacting with you as themselves, you don't have to tolerate it.
The block button (or delete button) is your friend when it comes to online haters. In most cases, these people are trolls who are hoping to get a reaction from you. Don't indulge them. Just block them and take a few minutes to relax and release the anxiety they caused you. Then, go on about your day.
It can be a challenge to remove negative family members or co-workers from our lives. However, in the online world, you have full control over who is in your circle.
Final Thoughts on How to Deal with Haters
Now that you have some effective techniques for how to deal with haters and jealous people, you'll be well on your way to enjoying your success and continued growth… without someone trying to rain on your parade. You worked hard and deserve to be praised, without having simple minded people distract from that.
If you find yourself needing more inspiration, check out our article “73 Haters Quotes for Dealing with Negative People.” Here, you'll find wise words to help you continue focusing on your own positive growth.